snakehips

Shit! I've just been out gettin' Berbatov on me shirt - so convinced I was of this story being true. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I hope Berb has gone by now as I don't want to spoil his hols. After Tommy Burns' untimely death the other day I am really doubting whether I should lie in the sun again. Anyone else have this feeling, or am I just over-reacting? I do like lying in the sun when I'm away - as nature intended, I have to admit - but the thought of what damage is being done is making me think twice.

Are you mental? have you even seen hart playing this season he's been excellent, one of the best saves:goals ratios in the league this season I'd have him if we could Johnson, Elano, Petrov, Dunne and Ireland Richards will be heading to the top 4 if anywhere No, Andrew, far from it. Everyone, but everyone, knows I'm the most knowledgeable poster on here when it comes to football.

Apart from Micah Richards (who NUFC wouldn't stand a cat in hell's chance of signing) I wouldn't be interested in any of their players. Quite why Dunne arouses so many hard-ons on here beats me. As for Hart - yet another kid who gets rave reviews without being anything special imo.

Simone, dahling, see if you can rip that fuckin' Sportsdirect sign off the Gallowgate whilst your at it, there's a good girl.

Keep it to a page and a half max. Fill it with what you can do and plant plenty of the keywords of the job advert in it (that is a really good tip!) Don`t include your hobbies because no one gives a fuck. This is prob why all scousers are unemployed Even when formatted to hell, my qualifications and skills are apporx 3/4 of a page. I put my hobbies as people are interested in my experiance. I work in a specific field so my employment history and experiance is important, so at the moment I have it on two and a half pages, I cant get it any smaller. Using a spell check is always advisable anarl

The next superhero blockbuster is on the way: MAGMAMAN !!

Be prepared. In later years, some fucka on here will say the inevitable 'who the....etc etc' and you will be able to slag them off

If he stays, I hope he isn't living off that goal for the next five or six years. I posted a while ago my suggestion that Zog is like a slightly better Lua Lua. He really needs to develop further imo.

There is a black 'n' white shirt in the back of the first pic. I don't think it's a toon one, though. Hopefully the lad will have got his head 'accidentally' jammed in the van door as he was slung inside.

Who is Vic Mackey? And do we expect a case of compensation on it's way??

It seemed to me that the mics were around the Zinit supporters and nowhere near the Rangers fans. Even when it was obvious the Rangers fans were singing/shouting in full voice it was hard to hear them due to the mics. Anyone knows that it would be impossible for the Rangers supporters to be as quiet as it seemed.

And if you're SO, always include a pic of your cock!

Maybe Owen aside.................but what other players do you have that would stand out at a top club? I don`t think Martins would. I could imagine Martins doing well in a good side tbf, I remember when he was leaving Inter to join here, they all thought he was great and were gutted he was leaving. Perhaps, I think he all potential but is a tad inconsistent. How many goals this season? More league goals that Dirk Kuyt anyway. Naughty. Someone less nice than myself might also have mentioned that Chelsea are poised to offer a mega-bucks deal to get Torres!

What really gets on my tits is this moronic attitude of 'we're Geordies/Scottish (add your own) and we need to show everyone how to drink'. Utter, utter shite.

Arr-shavvin according to last night's commentary. He looked pretty nippy - in the first half I was struggling to see what the fuss was about but in the second half he was involved in a lot more of their play, quality pass for the first goal too. +1. They pissed all over the clueless rangers in the first and second half FYP Lord knows what the clipboard was about. Probably a menu from a local Chinese takeaway cos it was fuck all help to Rangers

I've always had a bit of a thing about this SNP argument about N.Sea oil being Scottish. This argument means they believe that the revenue from the oil (massive revenue at that) is theirs and they (SNP) think it shouldn't be shared. Therefore, doesn't this argument mean they (SNP) are Tories i.e. mine, mine, mine and we don't want to share ?? Surely this attitude is the opposite of socialism ?

still Riding Giants for me. Follow up to Chubby Chasers? I have that on dvd I also saw 'The Lives of Others' when away. Excellent.

I can remember when Lee Chapman played for them. Just. I remember a game at the old Victoria Ground had to be called off after a storm blew some of the roof on the main stand off. Must have been early 70's. Just an example of the useless shite that clutters up my brain!

He didn't have to say owt. The last 2 years he's said fuck all in the close season and took a lot of stick for doing so as people (me included) saw that as inviting speculation. Fair do's to him for saying he sees a future for himself here. Apologies. I missed the bit where he says he sees a future for himself here. Michael Owen has given a strong indication that he plans to stay at Newcastle after revealing he cannot wait for the start of next season. The England star's future has been the subject of conjecture for some time with the striker having just over a year to run on his current contract. Newcastle are keen to hold talks with Owen about a contract extension as they look to tie him down to a long-term deal. The former Liverpool man has boosted Newcastle's hopes of getting him to sign a new deal by saying he is excited about next season. Exciting times "In a way we want this season to continue because we're on a great run," Owen told the club's official website. "But if we can take these performances and the confidence we've got about us and add one or two top players then it's going to be exciting times. "It's the oldest cliché in the book, but we really are all in it together. It's nice to play some good football, to get some confidence and it's nice to get the fans' backing. "And it's nice to climb up the table. I couldn't have imagined saying a few weeks or months ago there really is a buzz and anticipation for next season." http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_3469367,00.html So he's defo off then.

No I don't. And no you don't snakey. God loves a trier

Went to see 'What Happens in Vegas' this afternoon. Mrs hips wanted to go. Anyway, it is utter shite. I suppose, like me, you knew it would be! When I was away I saw 'Control'. Apart from Curtis' nerdy dance - which the lad had down to a tee - the film was tiresome. I also saw Atonement - thank God for the ffw button! London to Brighton. Yet another class British film - check it out.

I don't really care how that tastes, babe - I'm just going for the slowest response in the board's history!! Do I get a badge??

Not that I don't love Smith, but can I just say I'm available to drive him to Smoggsville. Just give me five minutes notice please, Mort.

He didn't have to say owt. The last 2 years he's said fuck all in the close season and took a lot of stick for doing so as people (me included) saw that as inviting speculation. Fair do's to him for saying he sees a future for himself here. Apologies. I missed the bit where he says he sees a future for himself here.