Mac-Toon

I always assumed they would've cut my "sack" and took my ball out of there, however they don't. They cut you at the top of your groin and push everything up and out of there. I've got a canny scar, but couldn't give a monkey's about only having one-ball now. Honestly, they could've cut off my cock and I wouldn't have been too fussed as long as they made me better. All I'll say is that if you ever notice anything untoward or feel worried about a change then go to your doctor. It has the highest cure rates of all cancers if caught sharp. I'm currently in contact with three men (19, 24 and 31 years old) who have been sent for a scan after going to the doctor. Two of them have had a 'dodgy lump' for over a year and only thought about checking it out once they heard about me and my 'Howay the Nads' campaign. If you want to know how to check; http://checkemlads.com/v3.htm and what it's like. Cheers

Cheers. I've ran a couple of 10k's since, climbing Snowden in August then Great North Run in september. I'm shite at running since chemo, mind. Lung capacity is shot and the fact I lay on my back for 3 months barely using my legs has left them weak as watta. On your other point, "one of the less scary cancers", I don't agree with that, mate. It might be more curable than most other cancers, but still fucking scary when you can't get out of bed for a week or told "you have to stay in isolation for 7 days or you could pick up an infection and we won't be able to save you - as you have no white-blood cells". Though, you're right it's definitely the best one to have, if you're going to get it.

Alreet, all? Well, I didn't die so you can cancel that bouquet of flowers, lads. It was fucking rough from october through 'til february, but I'm fine now. I just go for scans and blood-tests once a month and everything's been clear since december. I'm in full remission, which is obviously a relief. Cheers

I made the same mistake. The packaging is very misleading.... .... for idiots.

Oven Pride doesn't clean your oven, it just cleans the rack & trays that you put in the bag they supply. It won't clean the inside of your oven out.

Are they dear? Never bought them before, but if I know Asda; & I think I do, they'll have the price marked up with them being in season.

Thanks, that looks good. Sure the fruit & veg man at the foot of Northumberland street has chestnuts; might have a trip tomorrow. I don't know why I agreed to this, I come from the Jackie Chan school of cooking; one chop & you're dead.

Her sister would love my sausage meat balls.

A bit of help required here, if you'd be so kind. We're going to "the inlaws" for Christmas Dinner & for some reason I volunteered to make stuffing & pigs in blankets/devil on horseback. Do you have any easy recipes for the stuffing? Preferably one without sage in, as it's the work of the devil & can be overpowering. Thanks.

It's all well & good saying to start Marveaux & Bigirimana, but we all know there's not a chance Pardew will drop Jonas ahead of a "big game". Unfortunately for us, Barry has accepted the charge from the FA so will miss the game. Kompany not 100% and likely to miss out. They'll play Kolo Toure with Nastasic which should give us hope we can threaten them. The whole game will be won/lost in midfield. I can see Mancini starting Tevez & Aguero, who will have Williamson's pants down if he starts. I'd drop him & play Perch next to Coloccini. He's better on the deck than Williamson & we know Man City aren't going to be lumping the ball into our box. Hope we go; Krul, Simpson, Colo, Perch, Santon, Tiote, Jonas, Anita, HBA, Ba, Cisse. We can get a result against these no doubt, IF we protect our full backs, unlike what happened at Fulham. 1-1 prediction.

Yeah. I highlighted the age group as it's even more unacceptable than the young'uns wearing them 'cause they'll look good in Perdu, etc. Those low-slung V-Neck tops as well. Oh dear. What's wrong with a polo & Levi's?

I could add thousands to this list, but one of my other biggest cringe's has to be men, in their late 30's/40's who have started wearing those tight bottomed jeans & them daft Tom shoes. You don't look trendy, mate; you look like a cunt.

Lasses carrying their stupid, little toy-dog's around in their arms so they don't get cold. Fuck off.

When living in Exeter for a couple of years between 2001-2003 my flatmate's & I went "shroom-picking" on Dartmoor for the day. I had no idea what I was really looking for, but we had an "expert" with us who thought he was Ray Mears brother. We travelled in the car to get there for about an hour & spent over 4 hours picking. We got home & the other lads wanted their tea first so whilst they were eating I said I'd make the "brew". Kettle - Check. Shrooms - Check. Strainer - Check. I put the 'shrooms in the strainer & boiled the kettle & poured the kettle water over the 'shrooms into the sink; COMPLETELY FORGETTING TO PUT A BOWL UNDERNEATH TO CATCH THE POTION. Fuuuuuck. I then grabbed the bowl & poured them through again, to make a weak-as-piss brew. I didn't tell the lad's & the placebo effect must've kicked in as they were all off their tit's & I wasn't affected at all.

Just bought a bottle of "Pitu Cachaca" for over the Christmas & as an easy sip once my chemo is finished. With it I'll be making Caipirinha which is; Cachaca Limes Sugar Ice http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caipirinha Looks poncey, it is, but it gets you steaming & slides down a treat.

Here's the letter that Alan Pardew sent me. pretty nice touch from a busy man. don't blame me for our current slump, mind. Thanks a lot for everyone's kind words. I'm going to get back in touch with this Telegraph writer. Guess I should bite the bullett & allow her to spread my word.

Rolf Harris arrested. I can't believe he would do anything like that. He was always so generous, kind and allowed me to play with his mini-didgeridoo as a kid.

Lambrini girls just wanna have fun.

Going to get a bottle of whisky and celebrate with a few drams when it's all over. Wasn't a big drinker at all before all this carry-on, but could murder a pint. Guess it's just because I can't have it which makes it worse.

Sounds vile. Vodka should be drank straight or with irn bru and that's it. Cheers, mate. I've just got 1000ml of Saline pumping in now to start me off. Hopefully they'll dope me up on sleeping tablets tonight so I sleep through. Bigger bonus was the nurses kicking someone out of this private room I've got and putting her on the ward. Fair in my opinion as I'm the youngest here by a good 30-40 year.

Great mood. Started my last cycle of chemotherapy this afternoon. Lying on my hospital bed, drip hanging out of my hand and waiting for my tea to be delivered from the missus. CT - What the hell's a "Woo Woo"? Sounds awfully sissy, though having not had a drink for months I'd probably drink it.

Snowing 'round your way? Or is that from last year?

Of course he should, and WILL stay. We've qualified for the next round of the Europa League in his first time managing in European football & things are far from broken in the Premier League. If we beat Wigan, get a result at Fulham & beat QPR (which we're more than capable of) we'll be on track for a top-10 finish. It's pretty embarrassing to question a man who's lifted the club from a negative place & given us European football on a pathetic budget, as soon as we have a slump. It's the first time we've not performed since he took over & I really hope we stick with him. We've been crying out for stability since Sir Bobby was sacked. Pardew In/Doilums Out

A lady who write's for the Telegraph asked if she could use my blog in one of her article's, but wanted to change the wording & remove the swearing. I felt the emotion of how I feel/felt was portrayed better in my way & didn't want the message diluted in any way. She's going to "come back to me" in December & see how I feel then. Not too sure what to do as I want the message spread, but in my own way. Perhaps selfish to refuse. PP; It was probably 3-4 weeks between not noticing anything to feeling the change.

"We can't compete with the spending power of Tottenham" was a personal favourite. Bigger ground, larger fanbase, richer owner (albeit one who won't spend). We could compete with their "spending power" we just refuse to. That's the top & bottom of it. Williamson's been out of his depth since the day he signed. Think it was Norwich away last season, him & Perch as centre-halfs were embarrassing. That performance alone should've been enough for Pardew & Ashley to realise we needed another "Purple" in that position. Watch tonight when Colo gets the ball, Williamson will point for him where to play it, never to him. I rarely put down one of our players, but he's just not good enough for this club if we want to progress.