Mac-Toon

I had those thoughts when I first found out & was convinced it would've spread all over my body, but once I found out it was confined to my bollock I was confident I could smash it. Everyone says I've handled it well, but you just get on with whatever you're dealt with. I'm lucky really, people have it far, far worse than me. I thought the chemo would be horrendous, but it's more like having a constant hangover which is manageable. I guess it's been made easier for me with all the support I've had around me & getting the "Good luck, mate" letter from Pardew last week was a massive lift. Two more weeks to go & I can get my career back on track & have a pint. Haven't had a sip since august & it might sound stupid, but I can't wait to sink one.

Mine was a lump, about the size of a petit-pois on the bottom of my right testicle (RIP, little fella). Nothing specific to look out for apart from getting checked if anything changes or feels strange. You will have tubes attaching at the top of your nut, that's normal. I know Lance Armstrong left his until it had swelled to the size of a satsuma, the stupid cunt. By the time they investigated it had spread to his lungs & brain. Same for John Hartson. About 2000 men in the UK will be diagnosed with TC each year, & if caught early it has a 99% survival rate if it hasn't spread. Fortunately I wasn't a dickhead & got checked as soon as I noticed the lump & it's saved my life. I start my final cycle of chemo tomorrow, so only another 2 weeks left & I'm sorted. (Touch wood - something I've not done for 9 weeks now) If you're in any doubt or worried; go to your doctor. They appreciate people being pro-active & getting checked earlier rather than leaving it until it's "too-late".

The Hotspur's a good bet. Close to the ground (6 minute walk) and sells real ale. Good atmosphere on match day and doesn't entertain too many dickhead's. It's opposite the Haymarket bus station. For eating, I would walk down to the 397 train Indian restaurant near 'As you like it', opposite the TA centre. 5 minute walk from aforementioned Hotspur. Couldn't comment on any clubs as haven't been in one for years. Avoid the Gate and the Bigg Market like the Plague. You're likely to catch something equally as bad.

Best of luck to your mother and family, LTB. It's a fucking bastard of an illness, but makes it easier with family and friends around you. Wishing you's all the best, mate.

Thanks a lot, mate. Worrying as hell, but so important to keep an eye on your gear and get checked if unsure. My friend's got similar to what you described and has to have the cyst's drained every so often.

I expect a few of you already know through twitter and perhaps it's been mentioned on here over the past few months, but I was diagnosed with testicular cancer back in august and have been undergoing chemotherapy treatment since early october. I've written all my journey in a blog at http://obiwancajone.tumblr.com and would love it if you could read it for your awareness. Fortunately, I caught it early and have seen my tumour markers normalise over the course of the chemotherapy treatment. Cheers

By 'OK' I meant in comparison to how he played in his first season. He's another one who's got this new 'cult status' like the Ameobi's and Ryan Taylor when in reality they aren't Newcastle United standard. If Ryan Taylor didn't score against the mackems he's be another one who is questioned every week. Regardless of them, Steven Taylor shouldn't be first-choice if we want to progress. (I'm not sure the club do - given the purple player system)

He used to pop up in the box in his "early-years". Even in relegation season I'm sure he scored 3 off the trot. Not that that's important to us, but think his confidence is shot playing next to Williamson and worries about his "Uber-Toon-Man" persona too much. Perch might've done okay last season, but neither he nor Williamson are good enough if we want to be challenging for European football again. They're both lower premier league/Championship players and it's no wonder Taylor struggles next to them. See how easy he lost the ball on sunday then whinged to the ref whilst play continued.

Last season after losing we seemed to have the strength of character in the squad and togetherness to right the wrongs. This season the players don't seem to have that in them. Either a lack of confidence in themselves or one another, I'm not sure. Can't see us getting nothing tomorrow. They've conceded 1 at home in the league this season and we've offered nowt offensively over 90 minutes since Chelsea away last season. 2-0 Stoke tomorrow.

Not sure if that's the last we scored from, but Pardew was told in todays press conference that we've scored just one goal from our last 200 corners. Pathetic. He says we've changed our corner routine this week ahead of the Stoke game. I hate short corners, but preferable to floating it towards Williamson's fifty-pence head. On Taylor, he had the potential to be a great player, but needs wet-nursing by Coloccini and isn't strong enough in the tackle for such a big lad. We don't need back-up for him, we need a 'purple' who he can be back-up to. Hopefully Graham Carr will have someone up his sleeve that Ashley will inevitably not sanction the signing of.

Not sure if it's been mentioned anywhere but it was a great decision to take John Terry over Rio Ferdinand, morality aside. I thought he was finished as both a player and a person but he proved me wrong in his four games. Unfortunately he'll be nowhere to be seen come World Cup 2014 so hopefully Lescott and Smalling (!!??) will take over. I'd definitely say we have a top 4 defence and goalkeeper but fall way short of Spain and Germany offensively. The core of a good squad is there but making that step up to being a great squad is at least 8 years off.

Meireles is a far better player than Scott Parker. Ronaldo's better than Rooney, Postiga's a more comPlete player than Welbeck & Carroll. We build all our players up to believe they're world class when in reality we have no World class players. The last one we did was Beckham & before him Shearer. I look at England in a similar light to Newcastle. Not too disheartened when we lose providing we've applied ourselves. With what we have, we reached the exact level (QF's) that we should have. No more, no less.

Rooney at Man United is a different beast to Rooney at England. At Man U he comes short & gets the short pass from Scholes, Nani, Anderson etc. at England he comes short to pick it up & one of 2 things happen; 1) Gerrard sprays a 45 yard diagnol ball out of play, or 2) Parker plays a 5 yard square ball to Gerrard who repeats "Phase One". The fact Carroll came on purely for route one game was poor. Still think Roy's the right man for the job.

Stoke? I assumed he was from Tunbridge Wells or some stuck-up place like that.

Mike Williamson?

With the change of youth football setup it will now be played on a smaller pitch without an official 'keeper. The thought being; kids grow at different rates so the better players tend to be the taller, faster kids. The smaller kids don't get a look in due to not being able to keep up. On a smaller pitch it won't be "knock it long & run", hopefully allowing others to flourish. They're also discussing introducing a "retreat line" to allow teams to play it out of defence rather than lump it up. I don't agree with the "non competitive" way up to U12s now but at least we're trying new ideas. I personally believe 80%+ is down to sound coaching & the remaining 20% is natural talent. We'll take another 15-20 year to get to Spains current level, by which point they'll have evolved even more. On England; we were pathetic last night, played to our level & got what we deserved.

Looks like the SPL clubs will vote no to re-admission of The Rangers. Aberdoom are the 5th club to show their hand saying they'll vote no. Great to see the other clubs more interested in maintaining the integrity of the league over money. They may live to regret it but better than not following through the fans feelings. I feel for the majority of good Rangers fans but it's a fair decision.

Heard yesterday that off a friend of mine that his lasses best mate had moved furniture into a new house and was ready to move in but she's been kicked back as Rathband has been moved in. Apparantly, (my lawyers have advised me to say) that he's give his wife a clump and she's kicked him out. Maybe, just maybe, he was a complete cock before Raoul went mental and ultimately ended Davids life. I predict he'll have topped himself within 5 years. Too much to take. Bless him.

And what will that prove? Personally I miss the terraces, if not the lack of a roof and medieval sanitation. Unfortunately, standing is a thing of the past. The lads and lasses up in the LC were given a temporary reprieve from the reality of today’s football. What they’ve lost is what many of the supporters they slag off lost years ago. Yet, they seem to be so self obsessed they can't see they aren’t the first supporters to stand up or the first supporters to have had that option taken away. The poor atmosphere has fuck all to do with the existence or otherwise of the LC. It’s a consequence of a changing clientele, family friendly regulations and an owner that is kicking the spirit out of the club. Nothing is going to change until the money stops rolling in. So if you really want to bring back the noise the starting point is not buying tickets. Not proving anything, just what I'll do.

I know for a fact I'm going to get a letter through this week. The stewards were writing down my seat number and others behind me stood up. If they cancel my season ticket it's no big deal; I'll just buy a ticket on the gate for every match in the back row and continue to stand. Again, 'best fans in the world'. Biggest joke in World Football that statement.

For those wondering who this guy is... Think it was only you wondering who that guy is. I don't even have sky sports and I know the toothy fucker. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but that Guillem Balague account is a fake. His real one doesn't say anything of the sort.

Cabaye came across to the Strawberry Corner to take a corner. Few cheers then I hit him with 'He's French, He's Class, You'd let him shag ya lass, Yohan Cabaye, Yohan Cabaaaaye'. ' Appears it was the funniest thing people had heard in BoreBerry Corner. In all honesty, the atmosphere at SJP is one of the worst in premier league football. It can be amazing, occassionally. Mostly however it's a quiet pit of despair and desperation. Who the fuck wants to go to the match to sit on their arse quietly with a bag of revels and a bovril. 42 thousand fans there is a disgrace aswell. Best fans in the world' .... Pfffft.

Amazed he never replys to anyone yet has to that QPR fan who said he needs to think 'What if he gets injured'. Says 'It's something I have to think about. He'll go this afternoon. I guarantee it.

Canny pitches owa there mind. We don't have much beach football owa here.