Meenzer

What do you think he's doing as he sings "Up the Champions League we go"?

Suck my balls, Rio

Most goals PSG have conceded in a group stage game since 2001 That'll do

"It's the crunch match between Andorra and Kazakhstan at the Darlington Arena... and it's live!"

The Liz Truss line remains a thing of beauty

He's talking about his son, btw, not Murphy.

Bit hypotittical, that.

Everything is shite? Not if you're these party animals!

Boys boys boys

If they're willing to call me young, I'm willing to forgive them anything

The butthurt comments from Liverpool fans under that piece are all hilarious, but my favourite is the one who quotes the Niemöller "First they came for the Communists..." speech in its entirety. A simply breathtaking lack of self-awareness.

Too snobby, too perpetual, too liable to call you a cunt

May I take this opportunity to extend my own 12" welcome to all our new arrivals.

Good to know they don't think poorly of all 11 million private renters in the UK, just most of us...

Wahey, another imaginary culture war issue that the Tories will be fighting the next election on! I am so fucking sick of these wankstains and what they're doing to the country. It's a targeted attack on informed debate and rational thinking, it's straight out of the Trump playbook and it's depressing how often it works.

They never would.

'Poocastle' is so shit (literally) that I actually quite like it

Um, what the fuck?

Only if it doesn't have any sleepers.

That was just him trying to pronounce Šitarųs Bičiautas, the Lithuanian representative at Eurovision 1998.

#susanalbumparty