Meenzer

We know you will, yes

Bloody love a North Sea ferry. We took the Gothenburg one (RIP) every other summer when I was a kid so the nostalgia runs deep. Harwich to Hook of Holland isn't quite the same - it's not a long enough trip for them to have crap on-board entertainment, for a start - but it's not bad. Still, nothing beats the overnight Shields-Hamburg ferry (also RIP) and the near-inevitability of falling in with a bunch of bikers who gently suggest to the DJ at the on-board deescoteque that he needs to spend the next five hours rooting through his CD collection to find anything and everything vaguely approximating rock music instead of this Eurodance scheisse.

At least the bronze statue of a football that marks the old centre circle of Ayresome Park is a little more high-profi... oh.

Oh aye, don't get me wrong. Glenda is ill-advised, Gary is a cunt.

Aye, but still, don't put fake grass down.

I'm not expecting other people's morals around this topic to be as rock-solid as mine, so there'll be plenty of arse-wipers lining up to have at me.

He could pop up in the matchday squad for one of our pre-season friendlies and I wouldn't be surprised.

This'd be a start

This is - unironically - my attitude entirely. Nothing I do (or can afford to do) leisure-wise would come close to the environmental impact of adding one more person to the planet. Plus I do nice things for other people's kids like organising events that give them a better chance of staying healthy and active over their lifetime. So fuck all y'all, I'm off to Lanzarote.

Disgraceful tbh.

Not only do I now have a Tory MP for the first time since the days of dodgy Piers Merchant, but it's a safe Tory seat too, since not all of Peterborough is in Peterborough constituency. So at least I can vote with my conscience. If I can find it.

"The proposal originally involved Ryan Fraser but was subsequently improved". Harsh.

Under Ashley I probably would have been...

Financial literacy is for lefty cucks

Squelch-y.

The Ivy Road shooting! The most exciting thing to happen in Gosforth since Donna Air.

That's a terrible slur on the reputation of Khizanishvili & Sons.

Fucking hell

Congratulations! We'll get CT to send you a selection of his finest cryptocurrencies.

Nothing says "I'm a free thinker, not like you sheeple" quite like following an instruction to use the exact same profile picture and video content as all the other free thinkers

🎶 Oh Mandy Well, you came and you gave without raping 🎶

Toni Erdmann. Interesting without necessarily being good.