GeordieMessiah

I think she was last seen releasing white doves during the Michael Jackson verdict.

Sound insulation in modern houses has a lot to answer for.

Euphemism?

Euphemism? Feel free to take it any way you want.

Rather partial to a nice cold, ice cold ginger beer with a slice of lime.

You really are one very sick puppy!

The sheer inadequacy of our justice system is appalling. I'm really dismayed by the outcome of all this and also quite upset on your brother and father's behalves. Console yourself that your brother is the bigger man in all this, and that the thug in question will inevitably continue his worthless life of petty crime and violence and carry on being a lowlife cowardly piece of shit, whilst your brother will carry on being a man of substance, good character and integrity. The thug won't know the difference, but you, your brother and your family and friends will.

That response just seems far too reasonable for my liking Gemmill. You're plotting revenge on a grander scale, aren't you?

You crossed a line Fish Man. You're gonna get Gemmillated.

Be sure to sweat profusely at all times during the interview. If at any time during the interview you feel things are not going well, then pretend to start choking and fall to the floor grasping your throat whilst turning your face into a decidedly crimson/purplish colour. Unless of course, you're not actually caucasian, in which case I have absolutely no idea which colour you should aim for. Oh and since it's STV (I presume you do actually mean Glasgow-based Scottish TV?) then be sure to mention several times how much of a fan you are of Shareen Nanjiani and how you desperately look forward to cornering her several times a day for pictures to add to your bedroom shrine of her.

FYG Not sure what FYG means? But it does remind me that not knowing what certain acronyms mean is also quite annoying... Read that post, then re-read your post and then you may get it. The quality control filter not working for certain posters. I dunno. Is it "FuckYouGeordiemessiah"?

FYG Not sure what FYG means? But it does remind me that not knowing what certain acronyms mean is also quite annoying...

Hot Salt Beef Sarnie - for the win There is something very comforting about a really good salt beef sandwich, and your main concern should be to make sure that the filling is of excellent quality. Salting beef is an age-old method of preserving meat; and although these days the amount of salt used is probably a fraction of what it once was, that long brining process still gives salt beef its unique characteristics. You can buy salt beef ready-cooked from delis and supermarkets, but it's much better if you cook it yourself. I prefer to use brisket which is traditionally the cut you see in the few remaining salt beef bars; or there is always the option of silverside, which is a bit leaner. You will need to boil your salt beef (about 500-600g or more) for a good couple of hours or according to the cooking instructions on the packet, then remove from the liquid if serving straight away or leave to cool a little in the liquid. The beef should be served hot. Take 8 slices of rye and caraway bread – but make sure it's the soft light rye, not the dark Scandinavian type. Slice up some large gherkins and mustard (English or American French's go well). Thinly slice your salt beef and pile generously on to the bread with the gherkin and mustard. Delicious.

Trojans, worms, Nigerian fraudsters, viruses, spam, pop-ups, illiterate mongs on web forums who can't spell properly...

Jodie Marsh: celebrity suicide just waiting to happen...it's just a matter of time.

Happy Birthday Face Belatedly

Could you not have improvised and used some soap? Water also helps.

The former. As usual.

The story behind this pic is fantastic though. Apparently, moments before this pic was taken, 2J was trying to break into Keegan's car and take it for a joyride with his mates down to Hartlepool marina, but Keegan chased after and caught up with the little rascal and was just about to choke the living shit out of the amateur car-thief when by a strange coincidence 2J's father turned up with a camera, and asked "What the hell's going on here then Keegan, man?!" at which point they both turned round to see a human version of Peter from Family Guy, and 2J put his best "innocent angel" face on, whilst Keegan made out that the pair of them were just "mucking about". I think it's ace, as it marks a turning point in 2J's life, the point where 2J turned his back on a life of adolescent crime and Keegan turned his back on a life of beating the hell out of deprived charva kids.

Could be Wacky present day! I'm sure GM had those same pants on ....? How very dare you?!

Proof positive that you're NOT a ginge. What a relief!

I can't understand why people say TT is sometimes an unwelcoming place for new posters...

Fact is, my mother probably had only just bought those trousers about a week before, the rate I grew at was shall we say...phenomenal. I was always the tallest at school, including nursery school.

Apols if you've seen this already - but just had this land in my inbox and felt compelled to share: This was actually sold in the supermarkets in Ireland - until they twigged!!

He did it. He's been banging on for ages about how he's a twisted firestarter.