Dr Gloom

At least him going now might force the club to get a replacement in. I was fully expecting another final day of the window sale and a kuqi style panic buy replacement. Absolutely no blame attachedto Enrique in any of this. If I were him, I'd want away too. He's been an excellent servent. Shame for him he played for us while Ashley was owner.

Even if we do sign this lad, it's a pretty underhelming replacement for Carroll. He's totally unproven in the premier league, just like the rest of our summer signings to date.

Yeah but Beemers are cool, which is obviuosly the most important issue

Yeah but Beemers are cool, which is obviuosly the most important issue

Even bathroom is, to some, a little bit too descriptive of the terrible events which unfold in those places. Those faint-hearted souls opt for 'rest room'. Ffs yeah, might as well say 'i'm just off for a quick power nap on the shitter'. Rest room ffs. Who honestly goes there to rest?

I think you may be right on at least two of those, possibly all three.

Fuck's sake man. He's been put out of action by two poor tackles. i know, not blaming the player in any way. it's just exactly the kind of thing that always seems to happen to us when we sign a top player. it would be typical if he ended up crocked for the majority of his contract.

i've got a feeling ben arfa is going to be yet another newcastle player that arrives with a big reputation but ends up spending more time on the treatment table than the pitch.

He looks a good prospect tbf but the rumoured price, 10-15m is just daft. The Market for English played is silly.

He's quite funny on panel shows but his standup is shocking.

not on the list but happy holidays grates. just say which holiday you're so fucking happy about. describing using the toilet as using the bathroom. you going for a fucking shower at 3pm in the office or something you stupid yank?

i'd play shola ahead of best for now. though with best there is at least an outside chance he may improve. with shola, we pretty much know what you're getting. but for now, that's better than best, who still has a lot to do to prove he is a capable reserve for a premier league club.

bold statement Not really, this is a bold statement ouch

bold statement

when asked by nick robinson who he was and why he attacked murdoch, the pie thrower simply replied "i can't comment, it's the subject of a police investigation"

absolutely nowt to feel sorry for!

this is an outrageous performance by murdoch senior, playing the frail, senile old and out of touch old man. has to be an act - he must be playing dumb. although news corp investors will be alarmed if he really is like that.

the cabaye signing was encouraging. i haven't seen much of him but he's a french international and played in the side that just won the title so he can't be a bad player. whether he adapts to the premiership is another matter. i'm not convinced by the rest of the signings though - two sicknotes and an untried kid. we need to re-invest a lot more of this 35m if we want to avoid another season of mediocrity but the noises coming out of the club suggests otherwise.

Most of the players listed above aren't good enough. That doesn't change the fact that we have a small squad. We can't afford to offload more of the deadwood until we sign at least another 3-4 first team players. Id rather use the likes of lovenkrands, best and Guthrie off the bench ahead of untested kids.

And we have a winner. No keeper in the world is stopping that.

i'd definitely have a go investing in stuff. mainly stuff that was fun rather than stuff that would make me money, other than the usual mix of luxurious properties and cars. you still need a job, rich or not though. well not a job in the the typical sense. i just reckon i'd need a place to go and stuff to do every day so you i didn't go mad. my 'job' would mainly consist of setting up a studio and record label to put out music. putting on large music events and festivals consisting only of bands and djs that i like and letting me play my shit out as well. i doubt i would live for long if i had that amount of money though. the nutritionist sorting my meals and the daily sessions with the personal trainer would probably fail to balance out the excessive all night parties.

to the tune of humpty dumpty alan pardew, you're not the best, alan pardew, you're a sex pest alan pardew does whatever he's told because without this job, he'd be on the dole

a half decent 3rd or 4th choice striker, nothing more. what we don't want is to be relying on him and shola for goals for the majority of the season. this is likely to happen if we don't get another striker in as ba will no doubt be injured for a chunk of it.

shame bendtner's not our replacement for lovenkrands

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