catmag

I'm off to bed!

Not as simple as that apparently. Fine by me - I'd rather it was done properly and as I'm renting it's not my bill!

Ah if only they weren't 2 middle-aged married men. My luck could have been in!

Nope, whole bath needs lifting as the floor isn't level and every time I have a shower it's leaking straight down the sides. It's fine for the mo as long as I don't use the shower and they're going to come back and do it at 4pm so I can get some kip.

So an hour before I leave for work last night I discover water slowly dripping through my sitting room ceiling at 3 seperate points. Not going to work is not an option so switched the water off and the boiler/heating/water tank, waited half an hour during which time it appeared to slow to almost a stop, crossed my fingers and went to work. Had a fucker of a night, did 5 emergency operations and was just praying that my ceiling was intact when I got home. Thankfully it was and I currently have 2 blokes pulling my bath to pieces as they think there's a leak under it and I need to go to bed.

You HAVE to butter to the edges man! They are the crustiest bits that need butter

Language

But not so little

There's no way in the world my little boy would go near any of them!

I think his tits probably look like that meal!

Problem petal?

Definitely! Although before I do that, we have a chart at work called the Bristol Stool Chart where you can categorize poo. This is the cake version just for CT....

A bit of spelling wouldn't go amiss either...

Give him his due (!) that looks baked based on the crispy skin. He'll be after a Michelin star next...

It was indeed. If Carlsberg did Mondays....

It's a fucking baked spud ffs!

And the CP vs Liverpool match at the same time. Unbelievable stuff in both matches

Nope, I'm watching the snooker like a proper girl

You're worried about the smell of chickens when you've just poisoned your neighbourhood with manure-that-they-didn't-take-the-smell-out-of?

Spotted as I left work this morning.

We do far too many bum abscesses at work so I can assure you mine is always sparkling! Sorry to have to spoil the cooking thread with bum talk..

I've just left it to get out of hand for the moment

I still can't get over the fact he thought they'd "take the smell out of the manure"

A colleague is having tinned macaroni cheese for tea. It looks and smells like gloopy sick.