catmag

Top tip: If you make your 2 nice gardeners fried egg sarnies and endless cups of tea they'll sort the front garden out as well as the back!

First world problems eh?!

Good gawd Thankfully my plumbing is fixed!

I've just had a horrible thought. CT - you haven't decided to take up tidying other people's gardens as your new hobby, have you?

I've got 2 blokes coming to sort the garden out on Wednesday aswell

The fit window cleaner is doing his rounds in just a little pair of shorts today

Had a classic family BBQ today attended by the usual suspects from my nearly 90 year-old (who look 30yrs younger) grandparents to the great-grandchildren. Haven't eaten anything since 4pm and really don't need anything more. Lovely day, although I will never, EVER, be able to tolerate peppers in any form whatsoever. Grim.

I'm off to bed!

Not as simple as that apparently. Fine by me - I'd rather it was done properly and as I'm renting it's not my bill!

Ah if only they weren't 2 middle-aged married men. My luck could have been in!

Nope, whole bath needs lifting as the floor isn't level and every time I have a shower it's leaking straight down the sides. It's fine for the mo as long as I don't use the shower and they're going to come back and do it at 4pm so I can get some kip.

So an hour before I leave for work last night I discover water slowly dripping through my sitting room ceiling at 3 seperate points. Not going to work is not an option so switched the water off and the boiler/heating/water tank, waited half an hour during which time it appeared to slow to almost a stop, crossed my fingers and went to work. Had a fucker of a night, did 5 emergency operations and was just praying that my ceiling was intact when I got home. Thankfully it was and I currently have 2 blokes pulling my bath to pieces as they think there's a leak under it and I need to go to bed.

You HAVE to butter to the edges man! They are the crustiest bits that need butter

Language

But not so little

There's no way in the world my little boy would go near any of them!

I think his tits probably look like that meal!

Problem petal?

Definitely! Although before I do that, we have a chart at work called the Bristol Stool Chart where you can categorize poo. This is the cake version just for CT....

A bit of spelling wouldn't go amiss either...

Give him his due (!) that looks baked based on the crispy skin. He'll be after a Michelin star next...

It was indeed. If Carlsberg did Mondays....

It's a fucking baked spud ffs!

And the CP vs Liverpool match at the same time. Unbelievable stuff in both matches