Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Get on the phone to Terry Waite's agent.

Nice.

I see the BBC are remaking The Fall & Rise of Reginald Perrin with Martin Clunes in the title role. Bound to be shite in comparison to the classic '70s Leonard Rossiter original. Which set me wondering, is a remake ever as good (or better) than the original? The only one that springs to mind is Oceans Eleven. Any others?

Can't read this thread title without thinking of Otis and Marvin watching them "comin' in, an' goin' out again"

I'd love to see Allardyce and his lackey Phil Brown both get relegated.

Fact-alama-ding-dong.

This thread needs MORE PHOTOS.

If adidas are going for a retro look I'd have liked the adidas originals trefoil logo rather than the modern adidas equipment 3 stripes.

If you're anything like me, you'll start reading what looks like an interesting topic, get through the first page or two then realise its been derailed into a bitchfest (usually by a boring attention-seeker), scroll to the end and repeat. After seeing the same shit about half a dozen times everyday, you go and look and another corner of cyberspace. After typing that, I'm starting to wonder why I keep coming back. Maybe Danny had a point, we are all feeling bickery because its been such an unbelievably shite season.

Applied for the Hedingley ballot, no luck. They are selling 5th day tickets for £20 on a non-refundable basis which I reckon is worth a punt.

If you don't like Danny or Fop why not try ignoring them? There's nothing an attention-seeker hates more than being blanked. They'd soon get bored of wind-up threads if they were getting zero replies.

Away to Peterborough.

It's coming to something that Smith is now becoming our shining light and potential midfield saviour.

I've said many times, Stoke brought in Beattie and Etherington for a combined £4.5m. in January. Look what that has done for them. He needn't have spent 20-30m, £5m invested properly, would've lifted us out of this mess.

Every year we will be the ... Most profitable club in Premier League 2008/09 Most profitable club in Championship 2009/10 Most profitable club in 1st Division 2010/11 . . . . Biggest club in history of Unibond 2020? At this rate his wish of getting the wage bill down will happen, we'll have players on Minimum wage by 2021. Could go semi-pro.

Could do with him rediscovering his mojo before next weekend.

But, but he's sorted out the financial side....

Instead of pens the Neville brothers should've been made to fight to the death. Or Moyes and Red Face could've been give a bottle of whisky each, first one to drain it wins.

Really? Is that all you have won? Aye. We've had as many managers as we've had home wins this season. Tells you all you need to know about the current regime tbh.

Absolutely. Where would this negative attitude have got us in 91? Look what Fulham and West Ham have done in recent seasons. We're staying up!* * I'm entitled to change my position come next Monday. When did you become Mr Optimist?

In a nutshell.

15 Sunderland 35 16 Hull 34 17 Blackburn 34 18 Middlesbrough 31 19 Newcastle 30 20 West Brom 25 Makes very grim reading

Will Woodgate and King be hauling themselves out of their sickbeds tomo?

Lets hope they're still there or thereabouts for the title.