Dr Kenneth Noisewater

1. Feels like I've got a cold coming on 2. Going to bed in a minute 3. Honda's aren't as reliable as they'd have you believe 4. And their dealerships are staffed by idiots 5. And their customer services people are a disgrace

Owen lost to a life of luxury Martin Samuel The sight of Michael Owen coming off the bench for Newcastle United may not be all good news for Steve McClaren, the England head coach. Indeed, it may grow to be his worst nightmare. At the moment, Owen is working his way back to match fitness after a thigh injury suffered in July. Considering his recent problems, it is understandable that he is not rushed immediately into action. Yet, healthy again, where exactly will Owen figure under Sam Allardyce at Newcastle? Not in his 4-3-3 system, that is for sure. Owen took Obafemi Martins’s place on the right during his 27-minute appearance against Aston Villa on Saturday, but it is hardly a role that plays to his strengths. Very little about Allardyce’s A game does. He is recreating his new club in the image of his old and there is no natural home for Owen’s type of striker in a Bolton Wanderers-style plan that uses the craft of James Milner on the left, the athleticism of Martins on the right and the imposing presence of Mark Viduka down the middle. Even if Allardyce switches to 4-4-2, he might elect to reacquaint the successful Leeds United striking partnership of Viduka and Alan Smith. Then there is Shola Ameobi, another whose physical aptitude conforms to Allardyce’s preferences. So where does that leave Owen in Newcastle’s pecking order. Fourth? Fifth? Heaven forbid, sixth? Allardyce wrote a national newspaper column during the most recent World Cup. In it, he advocated a 4-3-3 system for England’s first match, which found no room for Owen. Later in the tournament, when he rated Sven-Göran Eriksson’s players out of ten, Owen was given his lowest mark, five (Peter Crouch received eight). Allardyce offered mitigation that he lacked match fitness and acknowledged his status as a player that could change a game, but his summing up will not make comfortable reading with McClaren now relying on regular club football to keep Owen sharp. “Sven has to live with the fact that Owen is a predator — or rule that he is a luxury he can’t afford,” Allardyce concluded. McClaren’s fear must be that, with Allardyce now making that judgment, option two will be his bottom line. Quite incredible, isn’t it, that a player who has done nothing all his life but score should suddenly be out of fashion? Owen bristles at the suggestion that the traditional goal-poaching No 9 will go the way of the midfield maestro No 10 and become a redundant figure in our modern game, but evidence is not on his side. Rafael BenÍtez did not want to make him part of the way forward at Liverpool and instead signed a succession of strikers without half Owen’s potency, but offering better support to the team. Indeed, the reason he is at Newcastle is that the top four clubs in English football did little but shuffle their feet and look awkwardly at the floor when he was made available by Real Madrid. The vogue striker is embodied by Didier Drogba, of Chelsea. Artful, powerful and capable of scoring stunning goals or operating as a selfless target man. Now, even Newcastle, the romantic home of the frontman, may prove a lonely posting for Owen. His announcement last week that he is fit and ready to play had an air of desperation about it, a forlorn attempt to make himself attractive, as if he already suspects that Allardyce’s attention is elsewhere. There is one team that has an aching need for Owen but, sadly, its plays infrequently. England have floundered terribly without their great match-winner, as strikers that are so valued at club level, where there is often a cunning foreign partner to help them, have struggled to fill his shoes. Liverpool’s supporters harshly stated that Owen belonged to the national team, not his club, but that slight may soon be his reality. The occasional cameo for Newcastle, however, will not be enough to produce the edge Owen requires to define key matches. If so, Allardyce may get his preferred England team, one way or another.

Thought this looked like a wind-up at first, but apparently not: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silica_aerogel

Pogatetz is a bit of an animal but he's injured anyway. Riggott and Wheater aren't exactly frightening mind.

Did their new manager not just spend a fortune this summer, bringing in 11 players or so? Martin Allen. He's allegedly had a bust-up with Mandaric already.

Sure there was, we came up against a good, organised side and didn't lose. ok we were poor in the final 3rd but so what, its a work in progress, last year we would have lost that game. Last season we won it. Bring back Roeder! And the pie man!

It goes against so much of what we've recently experienced but you have to build from the back, a solid foundation is essential. As they say in the States 'offence wins games, defence wins championships'.

Well done Durham

Not sure what to make of this. Another upheaval is probably the last thing we need. How is Ashley going to make a decent profit when he's just lopped £30 million off the long-term debt?

Paying homage to Micky, no doubt.

He's the giver

It's difficult to get a true impression of any liverpoo game on fivelive. Surely allowing green and lawrenson to comment on their games goes against the BBC's impartiality rules? Followed by 6-0-6 presented by.................. Spoony

To be fair to Green for once, he has a point. Styles has lost the plot big time in this game and is dishing out the yellows like there's no tomorrow. And it was never a penalty... Green's performance is just as inept as the referee's. It's embarrassing.

Wear nothing except a pair of black gloves and a pair of black socks. Hold your hands above your head and tell people you've come as the five of spades.

It's difficult to get a true impression of any liverpoo game on fivelive. Surely allowing green and lawrenson to comment on their games goes against the BBC's impartiality rules?

That's quality Laz Fancy dress is much easier for women. Naughty nurse/policewoman/nun or anything else involving stockings & suspenders is always a winner in my book

Why did the east stand take so long to fill up? Was there a problem with the smart cards?

http://www.fancydressnation.co.uk/acatalog/index.html http://www.escapade.co.uk/ http://www.wonderlandparty.co.uk/ http://www.fancydress.com/?usca%5fp=t

Allardyce: "It may be one, two or six games before we see the sharp end of Michael Owen and if Steve McLaren can use him at any time on Wednesday it could be a great help."

They would have got a draw if the ref hadn't incorrectly given the free kick that gerrerd scored from.

I've been surprised by the level of over-reaction to a dull game. It was a bit disappointing after last week but there is a thread on N-O suggesting that Phil Gartside was right to get rid of Allardyce. That'll be the Bolton who are bottom with no points then will it? And didn't Villa have something to do with it, O'neill isn't really known for sending out Keegan-esque teams to wow the fans with samba football is he?

She's a definite clam-nosher like.

1. Knackered, done 6 days at work this week 2. Stuffed, made enough mexican food for two then ate it all myself 3. Going to bed now 4. Did I mention I'm tired? 5. Not as good at this as Magma

Just watching Brian McBride suffer a dislocated knee cap. Could be a career threatener at his age.