Dr Kenneth Noisewater

I suppose you could call that gross misconduct

Curl-up & Dye hairdressers.

Saltwell Park = class

After what happened in Spain at the weekend you can understand the players being shook up. I wish him all the best.

Beeb sport:

Play the name game By Peter Taylor What's in a name? Gaggles of cashed-up young customers, if you're to believe marketing research released today by a small-business insurance company. One in three 18-24-year-olds interviewed for the More Th>n Business survey told researchers they would notice and remember a shop with a humorous name. And 58pc of all 1,973 adults polled conferred, with one in four saying they would even take a closer look at the products or services of a business with a rib-tickling title. That should come as good news for the multitude of traders that play the name game with more than a liberal peppering of corn. The insurer dug up plenty of examples as part of its promotion-cum-competition, with an "independent judge" choosing the top 10 from nominations. Taking the cake was Aisle Alter Hymn, a wedding-outfit business in South Shields, Tyne and Wear, targeted at the gay and lesbian civil partnership market. The top 10 1 Aisle Alter Hymn: wedding outfit shop, Tyne and Wear 2 Battersea Cods Home: fish and chip shop, Sheffield 3 Mad Hackers: hairdressers, Leven, Fife 4 Mr Bit: window cleaners, West Midlands 5 Only foods and sauces: takeaway, Walsall 6 Spruce Springclean: window cleaners, Surrey 7 Tree Wise Men: tree surgeons, Wallington, Surrey 8 Vinyl Resting Place: second-hand record shop, Surrey 9 Walter Wall: carpet sales business, Exeter, Devon 10 Plaice Station: fish and chip shop, Manchester

Shocking, and very sad news. Thoughts to his family.

I see

Who? What? Why?

What happened to cause this, is there anything untoward in his medical history?

Hay guys.......

The irony is that Boro fans thought he was the best thing ever last season and were absolutely fucking desperate for him to sign a new contract. Now he plays for us, they talk about him like something you'd scrape off your shoe.

Anchorman and There's Something About Mary are both on tonight by the way.

Has she landed at the Gaurdain now? Definitely shown mackem tendencies in the past.

Wonder if he got a name & number on the back? ASHLEY __1 225m ono NOT 4 SALE

It's a clever bit of p.r. Signals his intentions far more effectively than a press release. Wonder if he had his shoes off?

Wonder if he got a name & number on the back? ASHLEY __1

My theory on prisons is you could make the sentences a lot shorter (and therefore solve the overcrowding problem) if every day in there was a living hell. If you live in a shit area, don't work & have no money being in jail is better than being on the outside: Room with tv, dvd and console, three square meals a day, pool table, gym etc, dossing around with your mate all day. I'd make it like the cells in the Castle Museum in York: cell just big enough for a bed and the door to open. Iron bed, no padding. Trough/bucket for toilet. No windows. No exercise. Basic rations pushed through a slot in the bottom of the door. No tobacco. No contact with the outside world, no visitors, phones or papers. Maybe hose them down once a week if they were lucky.

You boys are so cynical.

Partridge was a Lexus man, no? "The Japanese Mercedes"

don't lose sigh tof the fact he's your "mate" because of his misssus....... I don't think he's allowed to see me now. She keeps him on a short leash.

I liked The Mag during the Keegan era but I've not read it for a few years now.