Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Assuming we stick to 4-3-3, how do we fit the players unavailable yesterday into the side? Obviously Given picks himself, but as other midfielders become available is there a chance Geremi will be moved to right-back? Will Taylor make way for Capaca? Once Enrique is fit, where does Zoggy go? Barton? Owen? Duff? Luque!?? If yesterdays performance is anything to go by, it would be harsh to drop any of the midfield or forward players. We'd lose something by shifting Geremi, Butt performs that un-glamorous role well, Milner and Smith worked their bollocks off, Martins scored two and Viduka is the 'point'.

Agreed. Good to have someone capable of playing that 'back to goal' role.

From my understanding, you put something far more specific and just a tad slanderous tbh Would suggesting hepatitis be too specific and slanderous?

Alcohol is a mood enhancer, so if you're feeling blue, it'll make you feel worse, if you're in the mood for a good night out, it will make you feel better. I tend not to drink in the house or when I'm by myself, don't see the point. But I do like a few sherbets if I'm going out with my mates. I firmly believe that if booze had been invented today there is no way it would be allowed to be sold to the public.

I hope not, chav brand. I'd like to stick with Adidas but if not I could handle Umbro. I hope not too but Ashley owns the brand lock stock and barrel and he'll coin it in if they make our shirts. We could wear Donnay socks too

Interesting, spotters badge to Craig. I hope not, chav brand. I'd like to stick with Adidas but if not I could handle Umbro.

So are Wist Am now going to pay the £8 million but get a free Nobby thrown in as a sweetener?

Will watch 24-Hour Party People again tomorrow as a tribute.

Genuinely shocked. He played a massive part in the music industry in this country for the last 30 years.

His legend status will be harmed if he goes to another premiership club now. Although his influence is diminishing I still like the little fella and wouldn't want to see him leave, not even for a couple of mil. Footballers are rewarded handsomely (obscenely?) these days, and if that mean uprooting your family for a few years so be it. 'Family reasons' seems to be the excuse of choice at the moment for those looking for a get-out.

Who?

Severance is alright. I thought it would be pure shit as danny dyer is in it, but it was mildly entertaining. Not ssen Snakes.

Why explain when West Ham have been equally as coy? Surely if we had acted unprofessionally then they'd be banging their fists on the table telling the world what went on. True. I'm presuming Mort had the biscuit baron by the nut sack, as he's retracted his earlier comments about us being "embarrassed"

Yeah, Six Acres sounds familiar. Also isn't CCL, the cheap computer gear place there?

I've been to Tong before. What do the call the big carvery pub there?

I wonder what price Barnes will go for? I wouldn't mind seeing him here.

Oliver wrote an article in the EC a few days ago after the Keegan/Shearer rumours. Other than that i would say you could assume Sam was not a happy bunny a week or so ago when listening to his comments. Ah, well as long as its only an Anal story I'll stop worrying. Clearly nowt in it.

I'm sure them Batons are illegal Radg So is burglary, so we'll call it evens

I'd get all Mr Blonde on anyone I managed to capture, gaffer taped to a chair, the works. "I don't give a fuck what you know, I'm going to torture you anyway"

Of the same era and the inspiration for my sig: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71RzvXQ74Fc EDIT: lyrics seem a bit different to the 'chart' version

Aye, I've got one of those too, a Beretta pistol replica. You'd be in serious trouble for even threatening someone with it, never mind firing it at them.

Likewise. There is a crowbar hidden between two units in my house which would be used for battering intruders.

He is quoted as saying “I’m very happy with the five strikers I’ve got” though: Viduka Smith Owen Martins Shola

That "somebody who knows Dom" jingle off Chris Moyles.

Correct. He played on the left of a front three when he first went to Chelsea. They looked dynamite mixing and matching Duff/Robben, Mutu/Drogba and Joe Cole that season.