Dr Kenneth Noisewater

When I was a student, I had a saturday nightshift job at Morrisons. At Christmas the shift manager got me and some of the other student lads some beers because we'd worked extra nights and delayed going home for xmas by a day or two. We decided to crack straight into them an drank them on the walk home. Some of the looks of horror we got from people going to work or to do their shopping

Why does Pardoo say that he's been 'assured' that all the money will be spent in the summer? He was saying he was 'assured' Carroll wasn't going to be sold a month ago. Has he not realised that an ashley/dekka assurance isn't worth shit yet?

Sorry to hear that mate. Zaza.

If that really is the case, then fuck them. I'm fuming at the arrogance of this lot. I hope it crashes & burns, and leaves the cunts out of pocket.

Daniel Cordone as well, on a season-long loan. A Wadsworth 'find'.

Frank Pingel had the worst mullet in the clubs history, it was a firm disgrace. His goal celebration against Liverpool you can tell he wasn't used to scoring very often. It bounced off the back of his head didn't it? He knew nowt about it til it was in the back of the net.

Who else was on the books when Rob McDonald & Frank Pingel played up front together?

And there it is

Just watch. He'll change his tune tomorrow. Nailed on. At least I have a tune Agadoo?

If they get themselves into debt trying to organise an advertising campaign who the fuck is going to let them loose on their pension?

Well did you enjoy that then CT?

More likely to be Nelson Muntz.

I tawt I saw a Puddy tat, I did!, I did!, I did!

On the plus side, I'm less gutted about this than I was when Andy Cole went to Man U, for what was then a massive £7million (was that a record for an English player at the time too?)

Where is my PM, you fuckers?

Can one of the PM receivers forward it to me please?

Is it because he's a cunt?

I'm expecting to sick up a little bit in my mouth when I first see the pic of him in a red shirt holding a wall pushers scarf above his head. Even thinking about it is setting off my gag reflex.

If he had to go anywhere, why did it have to be to them

It's crazy money, but that doesn't do the side any good. I'd be surprised if more than 10-20% is re-invested in the team.

Well they have similar 'recuperation' styles.

Press conference put back an hour and a half according to Look North. May or may not be significant.

35m is more than Barca paid for David Villa in the summer to put it into context. I'd still turn it down myself...