Dr Kenneth Noisewater

"Just for you lady and gentlemen" "I can fix shirt, Jean and trouser. " Fuck me, that takes me back

North East: Pinnacles Teesside: Seaview, Saltburn Yorkshire: Graveley's , Harrogate & The Cove, Otley.

C'est combien?

Edward II, allegedly on the orders of his wife who was annoyed that he was a fairy who wasted a lot of time and money on a Lord he loved. It was something like that anyway. Bonus point to Mr Castell:

FYP.

And me! talktalk bocking myp2p

Didn't one of the medieval King's of England have a trumpet inserted in his anus, then a red-hot poker pushed inside it?

Are Mick Lowes and John Anderson (who?) on FM and the gruntings for the village of the damned on MW today?

Didn't the emperor it was presented to put the inventor inside to try it out? [/karma]

Your one of team boring as well arent you? Really quite sad how deluded you are....You think your funny? You could only dream of having real friends as apposed to your little internet buddies on here, actually coming to think of it i dont think many like you on here neither. Freak. And before you say about people liking me on here, im not here to score points and be liked. I couldnt give a flying fuck if im liked or not. I have my opinion and i've earned it. How many games have you been to? Hello Mr Pot, I'm Mr Kettle.

He wants the Hillsborough inquiry re-opening? Fair enough: a load of drunk, ticketless scallies turned up late and forced their way in. End of inquiry. Any petitions / twitter campaigns going demanding justice for the Juventus fans murdered at Heysel? Thought not.

Sunderland 0 Newcastle United 1 Arsenal 1 Liverpool 2 Everton 1 QPR 0 Norwich 0 Stoke 0 Swansea 1 Wigan 2 Wolves 1 Fulham 1 Villa 1 Blackburn 0 Chelsea 2 WBA 0 Bolton 1 Man City 3 Man Utd 3 Tottenham 2

I imagine those posts in a Barry Davies voice

BUMP. More Android app recommendations please. Is there an android version of ootunes (or an equivalent).

Red face might be one of the most cuntish men in the history of the game, but fair play, he's building another very good, very young side. Jones, Evans, Smalling, the two Brazilian fullbacks, Cleverly, Welbeck, Hernandez. He just plugs them in and away they go. Not sure about the keeper like.

My sentiments exactly.

He's made of silly-string held together with Pritt-Stick.

Colo had a good game, always in the right place. Tiote's passing was a million miles from last season, gave away possession far too often and picked up his traditional yellow card. Cabaye tidy, but struggled with the speed of the game and ran out of steam. More to come from him hopefully. Flashes from Obertan, looking forward to seeing more of him. Ba disappointing. Song stepped on Joey's achilles, should have been off. Doesn't matter if it was a slap or a punch, the rule is hands to face. Gervinho's head looks like a split watermelon.

Blackburn Rovers 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 Fulham 2 Aston Villa 1 Liverpool 2 Sunderland 1 QPR 1 Bolton Wanderers 2 Wigan Athletic 1 Norwich City 1 Newcastle United 1 Arsenal 2 Stoke City 1 Chelsea 2 West Bromwich Albion 0 Manchester United 3 Manchester City 3 Swansea City 0

I'm a bit pissed off that we're getting all of the blame. The initial invasion was good natured (agreed, they shouldn't have been on the pitch), but it only turned nasty when a few of their chavs made it across as well and got mingled in. One of their lot was wrestling on the ground with a female steward, and another one (who was clearly visible 'cause of his yellow & black top) ran diagonally from our side all the way back over to the south east corner and seemed to disappear through an exit tunnel only to turn up back in the stand with his mates gesturing ten minutes later. The fact that we had the whole of one side and that only every other advertising hoarding was blocking the route onto the pitch didn't help when combined with all-day drinking and too few stewards. I feel sorry for them stewards as they've got the mackems and boro coming in the next fortnight too.

He got into decent positions plenty of times last night but always seemed to want an extra touch instead of pulling the trigger. The difference between an average and top class striker. Can't fault is effort though.

Who was number 45?

What I saw (Block 30): Jokey chants, of "Sammy scores, we're on the pitch", Sammy does score, a few run on, people laugh. Loads run on and it starts getting out of hand. It wasn't just young lads, there were dads with kids, lasses and blokes old enough to know better on there too. A lot of all-day drinking and not enough stewarding makes a bad combo, but its fairly light-hearted. A few of the darlo lot make it over from the other side and a few punches get thrown. Some darlo kid was scrapping on the floor with a female steward. Players go off for a few mins, Pardew and Carver walk over and appeal for everybody to calm the fuck down. Game re-starts but weird atmosphere and multi substitution kill it. Favourite chant "Sammy caused a riot, Sammy caused a riot" to Kaiser Chiefs tune.

Can you remember in the late '80s-early '90s when a Look North reporter went somewhere to do a piece about a planning row and the bloke shot him? Wasn't you was it Leazes? Aye, bloke from the council was killed and the reporter (who ended up presenting the news) got shot in the arse. It was ridiculous as the bloke with the gun had it out and was pointing it at people and there were police there and everything but they thought he was a harmless crank and that the gun wasn't loaded / didn't work as it looked like a museum piece. Twenty years ago today. Big piece on it in today's Journal and on Look North. Journal Look North

Opposite a cash my gold shop by the looks of it