Ayatollah Hermione

Premier League is categorically, clearly, the best it’s ever been but it’s actually average because we’re doing well

Defeats in isolation are one thing but we’ve tended to respond to them properly. It can be put to bed quickly if we beat Spurs next week. The one good thing about Villa having Emery is that he’s far too good to be at them for long

Got to question if Emery has smuggled some of Dr Fuentes’ performance enhancers back from Spain tbh

Ref clamping down on Villa in the 92nd minute You could not make it up. Must have realised the stats would be too one sided on his report

Probably UB40

Fuck me HOW is that not a foul on Bruno?! Baldy CUNT is looking straight at it

Botman and Schar must had a pact to just ignore Watkins today. Shocking

Bournemouth are a hard side to play against tbf. Kane will probably score but could see Bournemouth scoring

Buendía already on his way down there before anyone got near him. Villa free kick

If Trippier was anyone else, he’d be howked here, like. Total 2/10 performance

Someone will get a sending off here. Getting nothing off the ref and it’ll boil over

Embarrassingly bad

Joelinton has to come off. Not sure he’s done a single thing right here

Aye, I may have spoke too soon

Also, if this ref is the fraudster I suspect, he’ll swing our way so to speak in this half

Just need to score early in the second half and then go from there. Bruno looks off it and none of us are really getting about the pitch. Could actually use Longstaff’s off the ball work in the middle

“You can see why Villa are on the run they’re on” aye because they go 1-0 up and have Buendía launch himself on the deck every 15 seconds

How did the linesman spot that offside but they can spot literally nothing else?

Bruno has just tackled Willock Half time please

It can only be the lingering remnants of Steve Bruce at Villa Park that’s causing some serious flashbacks because this is fucking shit

Trippier’s nightmare is pretty much doubled by Murphy completely losing Ramsey and Moreno down there as well. A double whammy of crap

These are playing like fucking world beaters here. The wonders of a proper manager

No coverage about how our strikers play, just trying to guess if they secretly hate each other

Why did this silly cunt interviewing Isak on BT spend three questions about team selection and F1 for some reason? The pits. The absolute pits of football coverage

That midfield three is a tasty tamale, that’s for sure