Ayatollah Hermione

He bought himself some food and is currently necking Guinness at a record rate

Fair play to their manager for bringing a centre half to keep it at 5-0

Weren’t the Spurs fans happy with a back four? if someone can pay me to stay in Munich for the rest of the season, I’ll accept as it’s clearly good luck

Great choice to play Murphy. A very depressed looking Spurs fan in here as well. I chuckled as I ordered another Augustiner

Matching our system because they’re FUCKING TERRIFIED

Inassumed this Sarr fellow was a midfielder and it was 4-3-3 Ah well, could definitely have done with Almiron against Perisic. Hopefully Murphy can get a run on him and burn him

Eric Dier as half of a defensive two. Now, that’s good gravy. Would have liked to see Almiron in but he mustn’t be fully fit

Sadly, Bournemouth could be on the beach by that last game

I’m not switching mine on. I’ll probably be around other people who will have theirs on, thus informing me that the Chinese have dropped the nukes. One step ahead again

Spoken like a man with true experience

Incredibly accurate. She fell asleep as I was flicking between the German Masked Singer and second division German football and the only thing stopping me from getting another one is that I didn’t have change

I’m with wor lass so I’ll have to be slightly more well behaved than normal. But, there’s a vending machine in the hotel that’s selling bottles of Augustiner so things could get lairy

In Edinburger Airport now, heading to the old Munich for a week. There’s a Wetherspoons in here and I’ve just paid £6.60 for a bottle of Asahi. The games gone. Anyway, expect more Bavarian lager fuelled nonsense in the week ahead.

Poor Spurs simply can’t compete with a team who has had to play Dan Burn at left back, Jacob Murphy on the wing and actually started Chris Wood this season. Bloody Saudi money

Ashworth special. He’ll be a 60 million player in 18 month

Can’t believe that Ten Hag, a man who can only get a tune out of 3 players, is struggling again when they’re missing. Someone should look into that

Would have a hard job considering he died in 1995. Pull your finger out and update your jokes, Bernie ffs

If that Grigg negotiation scene had been scripted in a sitcom, it would have been outstanding. Right down to the “I’m not sure I can afford these fucking pizzas” joke to finish the scene. The fact that it’s reality is staggering

Billing linked at the end there. He’s looked like a good option this year and has a bit of goal threat about him. Wonder if that could be an easy one to bring in for good depth rather than trying to deal with Man Utd for McTominay

Ant, nuke the forum again

With our initial starting budget of £20 million, it will mean Jamal Lewis will probably need to break the world record transfer fee to give us the funds we need

I reckon 4 wins and a couple of draws from the last 8 would see us in at a canter tbh. Especially if 6 of those points are from Spurs and Brighton. If it goes to the last day, Chelsea away is arguably the ideal match. They’re a total shambles

It’s vital that we get a result off Brighton whenever it is we play them. Could be a midweek game sandwiched in between Arsenal and Leeds if they reach the FA Cup final…

Aye but they were outperforming their XG. After looking at that and not watching a second of their actual football, I could conclude that we were going to win. They haven’t found a stat that measures confidence, extenuating factors like an opposition off the back off three straight away games and a massively in-form striker who was relishing a game against tired centre halves. Also, unrelated, when we were having our outrageous run last season, off the back of a new manager who took us from relegation up about 10 places, what did our xG and related stats look like? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was similar to Villa’s atm and we steamrolled Arsenal at home similar to how we were done today. Very dangerous to just write teams off on numbers when there’s so many more intangibles to football than that.

I see we’ve found the new Bruce anyway. Right down to the rapidly expanding waistband. I see Frank has discovered belly pork in his time away from the game