Ayatollah Hermione

Burn’s driven pass into Isak for the first goal is fucking tremendous. Good vision to find him and the perfect weight on the pass. This is a Dan Burn slander free thread

Mate, just quit while you’re behind

We still have Leeds and Leicester yet. That goal difference could look nicely padded yet

Champions League confirmed, 13 goals in a week, rampant once more. ”Excuse me, guys. But our signing who is bedding in is not as good as my best friend who has fucked his cheesestrings, sorry, hamstrings, once more.”

It’s insane how, if we have a bad first half, you know for a fact that we’ll be unreal in the second half. And if we have a good first half, the game is won Have we ever scored more goals in a week?

😎

Second striker on will be nice here but these are spirited and giving us a similar game as they did in the semi final. What we have in our locker is the ability to score 3 in about 15 minutes. If they tire, that could easily happen again

tbf, I think even with Longstaff, we’d have struggled against Villa. They were absolutely rampant. He’ll definitely be a miss against likes of Brighton and Arsenal though, I’d say. He’s the only midfielder we have that can do his job, really. Maybe Howe will roll the dice on Anderson in order to keep Joelinton on the left

I was only there for a week and I’m fucking depressed about being back, Christ knows why any fucker that actually lives there would willingly move

If they do come up, the strength of the league will mysteriously treble. And we’ll have bought our way into the top 4 again

Almost as bad as his first 20 minutes last week. He’ll be in Southgate’s next squad as well

By the time he’s up to speed again, it’ll be five games into next season

Maybe they could try that sort of shite against the likes of Palace or Bournemouth in relegation 6 pointers rather than against a team who are light years ahead of them.

Don’t really have much more to add to what everyone else has said, Craig but I sincerely hope that you get the help you need and things can improve. It sounds daft but that exercise in preparation for the GNR will probably help, especially if you start feeling fitter as a result

With Pedro going to Brighton, I can only assume the sights are set on Diaby or someone of his ilk now that we’re Champions League bound.

Oh good, we’re doing this again

I’m fully on board with them coming up next year so they can receive a healthy portion of fucking reality.

After these last two games, I’ll settle for a nice 2-0. The football equivalent of functional missionary sex after a weekend of wild experimentation

Lavia from Southampton, I’d guess

And aye, fair enough, we’re getting top 4 This is another 9 point week and next year is a 90 point season

My record in Munich is 10-2 and tbh, even though Burn was offside, it should be 11-2 because it was a screamer. It’s only fair that the minted gentry among us pay for me to stay here until the end of the season

I got us in 4th with the exact same goal difference we have now. Yet another instance where AI has failed

Fancy using an American statistics system ffs. Might as well simulate the remaining games on FM

If we score twice, we’ll win IMO. Calvert-Lewin is decent when he’s fit but the injuries are piling up and he’s not in the form and confidence that Watkins is/has. Need the midfield three to be at it in terms of winning the second balls as it’s going to be scrappy as fuck, I reckon. You know what to get with Dyche though and it’s the odd game where Lascelles may be an advantage but I’d expect plenty 60 yard balls launched into our right channel to try and exploit Trippier’s lack of height. Probably Calvert-Lewin heading across to that side with Maupay or Doucoure pushing through from midfield #TacticsTruck

Was it Ancelotti who used to drop Pickford against us?