Ayatollah Hermione

Definitely feels like a mistake to not bring in a winger when you’re watching Fraser and Almiron serve that up. Rather than Longstaff, I do wonder if the option may have been Botman, go to 3 centre halves and then have Botman carry it to pin Bournemouth further back, with Murphy and Almiron tucked in and the full backs playing right on the edge. Wood should have been on earlier but I do understand Howe’s reluctance because that bench is fucking shit tbf. Anderson was actually a miss because he could have been a spark in place of Fraser and that speaks to the lack of quality when an academy product with 3 or so games to his name should be keeping Murphy and co out. Still, hit the post twice again so there’s a slice of bad luck there. Would be nice to start winning though

It’s beyond woeful, like. You’ve got to wonder about the mental state of people who ring up to tell a story about how they failed their driving test or some other inane bollocks. What compels people to think that anyone cares?

Metro Radio has this monumentally annoying thick cunt doing their daytime show (it’s on at work) and he was interviewing some toucher who once saw the queen for 6 seconds, 47 years ago. I can’t remember what the toucher said but the thick cunt was going “it must have been emotional for you when she died. I’ve been an emotional wreck all week!” And I would love it if these people could articulate why. Explain to me why. Go through your thought process and explain to me. You can’t. Because you’re a dopey cunt with the mental capacity of a shot glass who is pretending to be sad because apparently, you’re supposed to. I’d love to headbutt him.

I think we’re overdue when it comes to dishing out a hiding so fingers crossed. 4-0, Isak first goal

Speaking of which, this game has been a fucking shit fest. I’d rather watch a live beheading

Mentioning the awful form to prompt a sacking and subsequent payout. Classic Bruce

Should have made an homage to the 98 Red shirt. Late 90s/early 2000s is in, baby

That England squad is beyond parody why he has a 28 man squad for two games is a question but some of those picks are beyond belief.

Not a chance he’ll pick Targett. He’ll tKe Chilwell, Shaw and then use Trippier as left back if need be

I honestly would have thought he’d be straight on the pundit gravy train. Fair play to him for choosing to go chasing European blart instead

Part of me not really being bothered about working it is that it’ll stop her trying to spend my money at the very least

We’re in and aye, we’re getting a lieu day and probably a flyer. TBH, if my choices are being battered across the head with royalist bullshit and doing some graft, send me to work

From what I can understand, the deadline to register your squad for the nearest game is the deciding factor when it comes to signing free players. So, the game getting postponed has meant that there’s less urgency to get him registered because there’s another deadline before Bournemouth where it can all be sorted

Saw a trailer for that and I’m actually embarrassed for you that you watched it. Football has been off a day and this is what you resort to

Nobody had the imagination to write fiction those days. Probably because Marvel comics weren’t around yet

Fucking hell. Right, I’m off to a pub quiz on Thursday. I’ll get your first pint, DM me for details

“I’m sorry, Mr. Zelensky. We cannot provide air support in your escalating conflict as our planes are too upset. They’ve locked themselves in the hangar with My Immortal by Evanescence blasting for a whole 10 days now”

“Paying respects” or also “thank fuck, we can have a week without worrying about bastard VAR”

Paddington is just some little cunt in a red hat and let’s not forget, an illegal immigrant. What money does he bring in? You’ll be saying that we can visit Peter Rabbit’s hutch next

can’t believe Lowes jeopardised his well-paid employment with Wraith and the NUFC Matters boys

Spare a thought for Leazes who is currently on the LNER to Kings Cross, furiously demanding that every carriage be a silent carriage as we all grieve our majesty with the proper respect

The issue with footballing bodies is that they don’t care about player welfare tbh. Just look at them adding an extra pointless European tournament and a 48 team World Cup. They’ll run these lads into the ground for money. And Sky will already be rubbing their hands at the thought of advertising these postponed games as a bumper week. “A game every night!” And all that.

It’s definitely the FA trying to show the MOST RESPECT OF ALL and getting it badly wrong again. For a change

Got to say, quite refreshing to see us all on the same page with no contrary bollocks about how she was the shining light of England. A lovely little den of cynicism we have here