Ayatollah Hermione

I'll let you all sober up before you apologise in the morning.

I'm humbly requesting that Rayvin, upon announcement of next season's fixtures, predict every result for this exact situation to unfold again.

Also, if CT is reading, Everton winning has actually made us more likely to stay up when you consider their games in hand and what Burnley/Watford need to do to catch them. So save your tears.

Typical that the one time he actually ran at Godfrey, he done him easily and that was when he was about to be hooked. It’s easy to say in hindsight but I’d have went Murphy for Almiron and tried to go direct against Godfrey with him. Then again, the game was that scrappy and the ref was so whistle happy that I’m not sure it would have mattered

Mind, the ref didn’t help again, like. I’d say that’s a blatant red and the daft cunt couldn’t even spot that in real time. And then the corner at the end that blatantly came off Coleman. Yet more sterling work

Need the break for Howe to remind them that we’re not on the beach yet

Lampard is the new Bruce

Just one sensible game is all I ask

Gordon is like if Rocky Dennis’ bairn got a professional contract

If Maxi has his leg planted, that’s a leg breaker tbh

Dan Burn is fucking mint Get fucked, Richarlison

Would be unreal if Everton’s third sub was Dennis Nilsen who tied himself to the post there. Bullet header in the last minute

We should tie this fixture up now

That’s peak Everton. Let them stay up just for that. Great entertainment

Almiron’s general graft is unmatched and aye, some of his runs have went unpicked but he’s massively limited on the right since he always has to cut in

Mind, can’t wait until Wilson is back so we have a striker who can finish his tea consistently

Put ASM on for the second half to just undo any remaining shreds of confidence they have

Canny funny that these absolutely need to win and we could be fully content with a draw. They’re fucking desperate and Eddie Howe is just sitting there sipping a pina colada (probably).

The ref spends the first 15 minutes blowing for literally every touch and now he’s letting everything go. Dickhead, you set this precedent in the first 15 minutes, keep some consistency, fuck me. It can’t just be all or nothing

I can't believe it's CT who is having a disproportionate response to something compared to everyone else.

Got to think it’ll be worth giving Joelinton an hour or so considering he has the international break to get back to full fitness

They actually let that gobshite onto the big boy panel? Like, the one that gets put on YouTube and watched around the world?

1 left back with no space for Targett or Mitchell but Mings gets to stink up the joint ahead of Burn, Kilman and Dier

Win tomorrow and we’ll be 12th oi oi

Glory hunters AOTS