Ayatollah Hermione

Bruce defending there complete with a total hospital ball from Schar. Not good

Spurs not getting their way so they’re starting to twist on, I see. This is what happens when you bend the very laws of the game to suit 6 clubs

Joelinton taking absolutely no shit these days. Must be caning the red meat.

Can we not have a VAR check to see if a Spurs player may have brushed the thigh of one of our lot?

Defoe doing the punditry will be causing outrage over in Wearside, I imagine

Tbf, half of their side are sweaties so maybe it’s a scouting exercise for next season. They’re fucking clinging onto that playoff spot, mind not a chance they’ll be there come May

Fucking dinner raiser, more like. Nearly as shite as Russia vs Saudi Arabia from 2018.

I think my plan is to head down the Ouseburn way today so try and be bladdered and home by 6, if you don’t mind.

We’re getting the draw in an hour or so because a tournament taking place in November, that is also waiting on confirming it’s final 3 competitors, must have its draw in April, baby. Can England dodge a group of death? Will they get one of the home countries in a Brexit derby? Will they draw Saudi Arabia and will be subjected to months of fucking shit articles written by sanctimonious, hypocritical shitehawks? All of these questions will be answered as our brave boys and 30 other some countries will battle it out for the biggest prize in the sport, the old Golden Coconut, the World Cup

Remind me never to get on Rayvin’s bad side!!!!!

No prediction from the Knight Ryder, like?

You also have to weigh up the side he’s playing for, his age relative to what you’d expect from your first choice left back, any potential year-on-year improvements, scout reports from his international performances and just generally watching the way he operates in a back four, his character etc. Not Fish though, writing him off before his career has even began because his lines aren’t green

I’m going to assume our scouts have actually watched him with their own eyes, like.

Quite a bit of self-importance all around there. Will they check VAR before making a decision?

Aye, the thing I’m most impatient about with regards to Ashworth is him coming in and stopping Steve Harper giving all the Academy jobs to his mates

I can’t say that I recall telling you to get smashed, like.

Power pop perfection.

WTF

I can’t get over him winning Best Actor. Did nobody else act in anything this year?

Truly a dark day for the academy. Will Smith being named best actor,I mean

Without any games in hand on anyone above them too which means they basically can’t lose, or can’t lose more than once, in the next seven games. Lovely, lovely stuff

Oh, this is going to be a long weekend for me with my lass

Heavy stuff that mind, MF. Fair one for you having to deal with all that, especially having to be there for your mother throughout. Get yourself into some ale and some good tunes tonight.

It’ll piss me off forever that Southgate didn’t try Sancho, Grealish or any other positive sub earlier to try and catch out their tired legs. I think Saka came on but that was after they had already equalised. Let’s hope he’s learned his lesson because there’s not many managers with more quality options at his disposal at international level these days and he’s going to need to be brave to win a World Cup

He's been quiet recently, old Lee. The real one, I mean, not HMHMs version. He couldn't have quietly settled into bland competence, has he?