Ayatollah Hermione

We deserve to go down, like, fucking hell

Lascelles must have money on us going down, fuck me

Almiron for ASM, I’d say. Just have Almiron press their entire right side non stop for 10 minutes

Two good chances they’ve missed now, can’t give them a third

What a player. It’s been a 10/10 performance so far, he deserves that

Lol @ Burnley if we win here btw. They’ll be bottom with 5 games in hand and Andy Carroll up front. Nowt like pressure

Thought Longstaff had time to shift that to his right there, like. Needed a shout

Ngakia having a good game against ASM. He really struggles when the full backs track him tight like that. You’d think he’d have the drop of the shoulder to breach that but he always takes a touch

I’m not holding his skin colour against him though

Can see why Shelvey is playing for his passing and general composure but Longstaff is baffling. Would rather play Willock for a bit more legs, even if he’s probably better further forward

Never mind, he’s just lost the ball on the halfway line because, I assume, he thought he’d beat their entire team from there

Fancy ASM to turn it on today, like. I suspect he’ll cross it more now that there’s some cunt actually there

Tbf, they’ve barely kept a clean sheet all season either. BTTS seems the easy money today

Woke up quite confident this morning but this is probably because of the sausage, egg and bacon sandwich I had. I expect that to be the highlight of the day

Fucking state of this.

You can pay 100 quid for a Mile High sexperience and that’s the plane they use

Wtf, this sounds class. Firing up the PLEX as soon as I get in

That sounds like the least innovative set piece of all time. High ball goes on big head ball go in net bag

I must see this DJs set list. Bet it was packed with Jim Reeves or whatever dreck it is that these people enjoy

Sean Dyche is nothing if not predictable

Wykiki, you’re going the right way for a tooth-loosener here

Just pay Sevilla extra to do his medical over there and get him booked. "Excellente", it may well read.

Aye, 442, mixer the cunt. Incessant crosses and drilled 70 yarders from Shelvey. Almiron and Fraser running around like hobbits fleeing the scene of whatever nerdy shite they got up to in Lord of the Rings. We could yet make Europe

So, if Johnson somehow clings on, how desperate to things have to be before the vote of no confidence is called and an election is called? I haven’t a fucking clue so I’m asking one of you lot because it seems like we all hate him, his party hates him and even the ones that are riding his coattails can’t even avoid sticking the boot in when they’re trying to help

Her back legs have given up, I wish she’d just come out and have a potty mouthed, last 6 month. Just being the right old cantankerous cunt that we all know is. Or was, if she’s actually kicked it