Ayatollah Hermione

Some quality mental gymnastics on there atm, like. I saw one kid suggest that he wouldn’t be surprised if Ashley bought us back on the cheap once the Saudis “get sick of it” I, on the other hand, would be very fucking surprised by that

Apparently he’s the first of 6 (six). Will tug the end off it if we have basically an entire new core of the team by February

Holes bigger than virus particles

That Everyman cinema is one of the most comfortable 12 quid naps I’ve ever had.

Moderna booster has fucking well and truly chinned me, like. Feel worse with this than I did when I had COVID.

This Hammond cunt must know his onions

Here, I can’t be arsed with another week long debate about another beloved American comedy possibly being shit

In 20 years, I’m definitely going to buy a book of the most preposterous headlines of the last decade. If society survives anyway

Quite amazingly, my mate has Betty White on his stiff stakes so what a last minute goal that is

Isn't part of the issue playing it in an African summer?

Well, if we’re going to buy players to improve the team, why don’t Southampton? It’s not just a special window invented for us

That’s the dream anyway. Got my hands on a lateral flow kit at work, starting to get a bit of a sore throat so I could be out of any New Year social ball ache, get in.

Aye, I always wonder what people are on about when they’re blowing smoke up her arse. Alex Scott used to get the same and she was basically just saying the same things as the blokes do.

I hope she sings like a canary because most of the people on my 2022 Nonce List are rumoured to have visited Pedo Island and I want to win this year

Was laughing at Burnley starting Aaron Lennon in the year of our lord 2021 but he scored so who’s laughing now? Still me because they’re shit and going down. Burnley and Norwich occupy 19th and 20th. Watford better look over their shoulder

In a fantastic situation here where, just about everybody I know is testing positive. This doesn’t include the lads I went out with on Monday but it does include, in no order, one of their girlfriends, their lass and also their mother, their cousin, two of the barmaids in the local and their da. I have no symptoms but, at the same time, that’s a ridiculous amount of people who have been in close contact and at the same time, the three pharmacies I visited with my code today, had no tests available. A large part of me wants to just fuck the next week off but fairly sure I can’t get off work without symptoms to speak of and my dad, who lives away and I rarely see, is coming up so I have no way to make sure I’m negative for his arrival, especially if I meet his brothers, one of which, is technically at risk. Legitimately not sure what my option is, other than just staying in despite the zero symptoms, nevertheless, with the rate it’s spreading amongst the people I’ve interacted with, I feel I have to. I can’t believe we’re in this place, if I had access to lateral flows or even a PCR without a 4 day wait, this wouldn’t even be an issue.

Mail reckons Botman (lol) is keen and we’re willing to pay the £30 million. If this is true, our reported budget of £50 million will be tanked on him and Trippier

It is when it’s on a right prick who has hardly kicked a ball in all his time at Barca.

Mind, these Dembele links reek of PIF wanting to splash the cash on a big name to look the big bollocks.

Well, that kid will be chuffed to know that Aaron Ramsey could be on his way as well

The Expanse is categorically not shite. It takes 4 episodes to get going but it’s table setting before it all kicks off. At the minute, it’s not sci-fi full of techno babble bullshit, more about a Space Cold War that goes hot

Speech-to-text has really come on these days

Can we all slag Friends off next? That's shite, as well.

An impressive display of laziness. Are you at the level of washing your arse in the shower every time you have a shite because you can’t be arsed to wipe?