Ayatollah Hermione

Carrasco would be some effort if this potential team got relegated

I hope our activity blows the Signometer up

Shows how far they’ve fallen, really. Excited about the return of a bloke who took them down as a total laughing stock

To be fair to Shelvey, he’s actually been grafting his baldy napper off to get us out the shit. Lascelles has looked like he’s got good money on us going down but you’d hope that these players coming in might give him a kick up the arse

If he does well, may as well keep him if it’s a sensible fee. All about building a squad

I was at a game where West Ham beat us 3-0 or something and Diop looked outstanding that day. Shackled Rondon no bother

Imagine what we’ll spend in the summer I know that doesn’t equate to success every time around but it actually seems like these have their heads screwed on, other than potentially panicking with Chris Wood

Mandy has been up all night and I can only assume the speed in which we’re moving is a result of a Coke-fuelled bender.

Deal accepted, here we gan. One almost done and dusted before I’ve had my morning shite. Great stuff

If we get Lingard and Ekitike, how the FUCK are we lining up when Wilson is back? Good to have options, I suppose

Duncan Ferguson is the current bookies favourite Is the new tactic going to be to bollock the players into promotion?

Can’t say I’m too blown away by Targett but if the plan is a 6 month loan where he’s playing for a potential move, it could work out alright. Then we can bin him for Alphonso Davies in the summer

Canada vs USA is on as well so I’m giving that a watch. Canada managed by someone from County Durham and if they win this tonight, I believe they qualify for the World Cup.

That Dieng who we’re linked with has just come on and set one up as well. Bring him in

Someone on here called him an “Albanian pie-eating piss artist” which has stuck with me ever since

RTG want Keane because of course they do

Still tickles me whenever I remember that Hendrick was linked with AC Milan

Go to the netty. Knock one out

I bet he used to live off Iceland ready meals when he was still playing. Bet he was over the moon when he retired so he could eat a mountain of shite. I know I would be

Bruno, Lingard and ASM being the supply line for Wood and Wilson (when he’s back) should be enough to score us out of this mess, surely

Considering two of them aren’t left backs, I’d say so

I know I’ve said this before but I demand they take a photo of him next to Fraser

McCarthy will be bang up for it, man. He’s retained a great love for the place, 15 years after being sacked and slated

live stream of the trip home from some of their away fans Who’s up for watching the full hour?