Ayatollah Hermione

Reckon that Cardiff celebration might just be the cringiest thing I've seen a footballer do. So deep in his complete delusion that he and the fans were one in their love of another, he completely ignored that large swathes of the crowd had left in protest at the manager and he had just scored against a well-beaten, relegated side to run around the pitch like he had just won the cup. Yet another in the long line of complete whoppers we've had through our doors.

Twin Peaks certainly had a finale, didn't it? Really enjoyed the season all in all even though [spoilers]they introduced a ton of plot points that, seemingly, had no bearing on the final story, even on a thematic level. Was Audrey in a mental asylum or what?[/spoiler]. I reckon you could probably read the last episode as them attempting to get Season 4, whether or not it'll work is another question. Kyle Machlachlan deserves all the awards for his performance(s) though. Spectacular stuff

Spill the beans, dick lips. How much do I have to spend each go round?

Mind, it's nice that Southgate has taken next to no time to show how he's afraid to upset any of the senior players by continuing to play Hart. Some of these lot play for some of the best managers in Europe and they're supposed to turn up and listen to this tit?

All out nuclear detonation does sound canny appealing ATM. Especially if Rafa goes

Uber taxis are the cheapest of all. Hardly our fault they haven't hit Sunderland yet.

Djilibodji went out, didn't he?

Paging Ant

Not to go all Peter Kay but remember when they gave an e-mail address to contact if you were interested in buying the club?

We also have Stelrad, the trusted name in radiator sales. I bet we're raking it in off them.

Remember when we were playing in Europe a few seasons ago and the Sports Direct ads were changed to whatever language the team we were playing spoke?

Just another in the long list of examples to show how little consideration he has for dragging the club into the abyss. Someone made a point on Twitter where, even without considering player recruitment and sales, the lengths at which the club has stagnated in areas like the training ground, commercial revenue etc. is testament to just how much he is completely unwilling to spend, even the smallest amount to go further than 17th in the Premier League

They're desperate to break into the top reaches of the league, they'll give him what he wants and he'll not have to fight for much of it. Seems like he's got to fight to get a bottle of water around our parts.

I'm not surprised, Bilic is fucking hopeless. And Ashley would probably rather have Rafa off the bill and replace him with another kiss-arse. Christ knows who they'd dig up.

In an ideal world, Ashley would realise that he's given that sort of money to the wrong people and allow Rafa to use it properly but it's more likely he'll just double down and give him nowt.

Can't find the tweet now but I saw a few journos confirming it.

Caulkin is suggesting that Southampton were being difficult over Targett but the whole 6 months vs season long deal confused me. Not sure why we couldn't just accept a 6 month deal and then spend time trying to get a permanent signing sorted for January and use Targett as a stop-gap? That would suggest some common sense and long-term thinking on the part of the lads doing the deals though.

him being in the coaches photos with the title last year spoke volumes about his role at the club IMO. Seems to be there as someone to teach the kids.

First instinct is that it isn't good enough, albeit with a better balance than the last squad that went down since I'd say the only place we're threadbare is left back. I think it'll struggle to score goals and you're basically relying on the manager to do a much harder job than he should have been asked to do in the first place. From the opening games, you'll see that we're going to be ridiculously well-organised and players are going to run themselves into the ground for Rafa but is that enough? Sometimes, it is, especially against poorer sides where you can just unsettle them by pressing high up but there's a real worry that better sides will pick us apart. Basically, you're wanting Joselu and Gayle to have brief purple patches, Atsu, Murphy and Aarons to develop across the season so we can hit teams on the break/be dangerous down the wings and you need Shelvey to stop being a fucking knacker for 5 minutes and have the effect on games that Merino did on Saturday. There's a lot of ifs and buts in there that didn't have to be there and that's yet another failure of Ashley and his insistence on "gambling"

The working relationships around the top of this club are completely fucked and there's probably very little way back. Best you can hope is for Rafa to stay until January so the whole charade can happen again.

Starting to have Keegan 2008 written all over this. Dwight Gayle playing the role of James Milner.

Glad we got that sorted.

Brighton want Krul apparently and you just know we'll play hard ball with them over the price while simultaneously complaining that other players are too expensive.

I see Theresa May is in Japan. Now, I'm not one to speculate but i'm assuming North Korea were trying to hit her and do us all a favour; they were just out by a day. And 75 miles.

Paying 8 million to take someone on loan is fucking mental behaviour, man. What a load of shite. There's no chance i want us involved in that shit