Ayatollah Hermione

One day, they'll cut to Paul Merson and he'll just be asleep.

Honestly, twice a week, I'll burst out laughing at work thinking about that thread where they all, to a man, agreed that Simon Grayson is a better football manager than Rafa Benitez. It's the most mental thing I've ever heard in my life.

Brands are not your friends.

I'd have grabbed her by the flaps and dragged her across the top of the bar like a Calamity Jane fight scene.

Glad I have another reason to hate James Corden anyway

I wasn't at Rotherham away so can't really say much about that but I'd wager it was a League One side (in essence) raising their game against Newcastle United, only to get seen off. I was at the Blackburn game though and I remember it being a rotated back four, Gamez going off knackered after about 20 minutes and us squandering about 4 good chances before they got the free kick. You can throw plenty of criticisms at our players but taking teams lightly isn't one, I'd reckon.

Don’t think we were ever complacent last season and every fucker wanted to beat us then. Results dropped at the end through tired legs, I’d say

Ah right, cheers. I know that primary schools tend to prefer young lasses (dirty bastards) but I'll have a look into it for other places. If they were teetering on the brink of a total nuclear wipeout, I'd be bang up for South Korea.

Aye, we're away so a point will do. Having said that, this lot were never keen on playing us last season, we went there the last time and Diame magic'd the ball into the net out of nothing and their backline was dangerously exposed last Friday with a bit of pace and trickery from Ibe. I expect Knockaert to throw himself but I don't think he got past Dummett once in the two games last year and Mbemba is more intelligent than him so I'll settle for 4-0 nowt to us at half time.

Aye, Milner is useful to have around but that's basically the extent of it IMO.

I also have a TEFL accreditation so any kind of English degree would see me get ahead of the pack in terms of teaching English abroad, which is something that's appealed to me for a while. It definitely opens more career paths considering the current crack is dire, up and down the country. Plus, as alluded to, I was too young and stupid to properly appreciate the education I was getting at the time so a year of actually furthering myself a bit seems appealing atm. Didn't consider the Masters conversion and I'll have a look into that to see if it can apply. Anyway, I'm at the ripe age where if these kids want to even TRY to outdrink me, they'll be hoying up inside their Uber so quickly, their winkle pickers will blow off.

The cheek on this one!

Some kind of pathway into a new career, ideally. On a more personal, psychological level, something to shake me out of a rut and give me something to actually work on so I don't think life is a meaningless waste of time.

I know some of you probably got kept back a year or two at school but I'm thinking about, finally, doing my English Lit and Creative Writing course at university I.e. What I should have done from leaving 6th form instead of the degree I did. Current job is pissing me off and think I need some new focus to work toward and include some of my passions along the way so this seems about right. I know that applying through UCAS is the way to go but has anyone actually done it before? I'll only be 28 like - I'll be prime older man territory for the blart but is it an interview? Do your A-Levels get weighted too much? Because our English teaching in Upper Sixth was a total shambles from start to finish and it's the reason I went for History in the first place. Did people get anything from it if they have? Basically, just seeing if anyone has experience with doing it at my age or even older.

I think boxing should do away with the gloves and the ring. Erect a steel cage for them to battle in and incorporate other disciplines along the way so we see kicks and submissions enter the rule set. I think that reinvigoration is exactly what it needs. Why does nobody else see this?

Didn't realise we went up against Bierhoff in the Anglo-Italian Cup. The bastard

Aye, seems like he's got a long way to go to be a good PL keeper again. I always liked Krul but he hasn't played football for a long time and with Elliot and Darlow performing last season, not to mention Woodman knocking on the door, could you really see a way back into the side for him? Best of luck to him, anyway and if he does play on Sunday, I hope he's shite.

I'm here because I need to scream into the gaping void as a way to sooth my existential dread, which continues to grow larger and larger as I grow older and older.

Haven't took anything like tramadol but had to take some Predinislone (or however it's spelled) when I had a bout of Bell's palsy and, since it's a steroid, I was flying around graft at the speed of light. Think I finished my work about 2 hours early.

Bought some Nike SBs recently. Trainers like but an excellent shoe.

What this recent run has proven is that the league is bang average and an organised, well drilled side that is working their bollocks off is enough to see off a lot of teams, especially at home

Nailed on they'll beat us, mind

They'll probably be playing up front next week

They've beat our record for the longest time taken to score a goal in a league season too. Get the party poppers out

It's certainly realistic; David Luiz was all over the fucking shop for me.