Ayatollah Hermione

Weelchair users have got more money because they fiddle their benefits[/DailyMail]

You are Mr. Twiddle.

Not sure why I laughed so much at this. and this

He'll be liking Yank telly next.

I was just about to say you're getting soft now you're loved up but I stand corrected.

Alison Brie is tremendous like. Absolutely filthy too by all accounts.

Not if they don't sign him, surely?

Class

Had he sold Cisse for 10 million euros (which they apparently would have done had Fenerbache been on their marks), it comes across as pure asset stripping to me. How much further can he solidify Sports Direct with NUFC? I'm genuinely interested in that last bit. He has the UK as a monopoly (basically, unless you're after top line gear). I guess Europe gave a negligible growth or he'd be wanting us back in it.

Window has shut and coasted through with minimum expenditure. No need to keep him around now. Using loan deals, looking to sell Cabaye and Cisse for big money, tv money at the end of the year, Ashley's key figures being moved on and out. There's not long left on the Mike Ashley train, boys.

Well done to him tbh. Got a wage for doing next to fuck all and left a richer man. I suppose promoting Graham Carr is too much to ask

I think someone should do a big poo on Pardew's seat on the bench.

Aye, Matic looked quality as well. Hopefully it puts quiet those knackers who were calling him thick for re-signing him

Aye, they've lost it. Been renewed for Season 7 and I'll be surprised if there's anyone left. Hope Billy Eichner can join full time and get it back up to scratch.

And there goes what's left of Newcastle United. A club uninterested in league or cup success and a manager that is incapable of tackling the local derby in any meaningful sense. No players, no fight, no passion, no club. Newcastle United in 2014.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOF

We're 3 points off 7th; it's hardly inconceivable that we can catch up if we continue the decent form we've had from November on.

Me. It promotes satanism.

In charge of the playlist at my favourite pub now that it's had a refurb so I can get rat arsed in there now to my favourite music. Goodnight, sweet prince.

There's got to be a ban on this dear diary shit.

Listen to Marge Simpson here, man.

Gomis and Grenier double signing. The Two G's signal spending spree and sign contracts in three degrees.

Aye, you're probably right. Cabaye would have arrived in the box at the right time as well for some of the cut backs.

We "unlocked" their defence plenty of times, we just didn't put the chances away. Last night was crying out for a proper striker, not Marveaux.