Ayatollah Hermione

Not being able to defend set pieces is a part of what relegated us last year. Glad to see it's remained.

I'm not even kidding. Has Nolan been on the ball? Like a fucking ghost; what a carthorse.

Way to not prove me wrong, Ryan.

Why has the talking point of Ryan Taylor being a free-kick specialist endured?

Coloccini being beaten for pace like a sweat shop worker who has missed his quota.

Didn't even realise Nolan was playing.

He's the top football journo iyam. Top by a long, long, way anarl. Agreed. George Caulkin is a good journo as well. You can tell they've spent a lot of years covering the game and because of that, their pieces are always well researched and intelligent. Winter was usually the only one to talk any sense on that Sunday Supplement wind-up-a-thon too.

I expect Geremi to come on at some point. Just because it's that kind of day where things are obviously going to go wrong.

Can't say I'm excited. More the opposite tbh. It'll probably change when it's nearing kick-off like.

Literally can't fathom any optimism right now. There's not a single bright spark with this club.

I cannot comprehend the mind of anyone who thinks this shit is true.

It was always going to happen but it's a kick in the balls regardless. I'm amazed at the sheer lack of depth in the defense, it's pathetic. We have, what, 2 centre halfs and no natural right back. We're going to leak goals again this year.

I'm sure this Seymour Pierce conspiracy would be true if the world worked the way it does in Parky's head.

The chances of a takover coming from Moat were a million to one, they said.

When we play all those teams who play in bright yellow probably.

Drink for 4 days. If you survive, you're ready to start anew.

Happy Birthday. Have a good one.

We do?

While £8 or £10 million would ordinarily be good business, we'll not see any of the money spent on the squad and he won't be replaced.

You say that but Hughton took the training while Kinnear hid in his office anyway. The fact that happened and they still (if this is true - I can believe it like) want him back shows an incredible level incompetence upstairs. Draws are better than losses accompained with a Woolies clipboard. I know he had a better record, I'd just suggest that was a bit of a fluke as he was doing absolutely fuck all. In any case neither should be considered as candidates. But (it would appear) both are. Probably the only two candidates.

Joined

Fucking hell, man, I wouldn't put it past Kinnear either like. He's a loose cannon. You're off the case, Joe!

I have a horrifying vision of the future. It's November, we're bottom of the Championship, we're told that the club will be sold by New Year's Eve, probably and they call a press conference. Everyone is on the edge of their seats; is it Shearer? Is it a takeover? Armchair Penis just wants his name back, truth be told, but everyone else is anxious to hear the latest news. Optimism that once flittered through the air is popped like one of Luke Chadwick's spots; Joe Kinnear walks through the door, announces he is the new manager of Newcastle United on a lifetime contract, punches a journalist and immediately loses 8-0 to Coventry. Also, if we're in a position to go offering people jobs, why not Shearer when he's obviously desparate to have it.

Great. On one hand, this means we're fucked but on the other hand, this means we're fucked. I can't say I wasn't expecting it after the imaginary attempt to sell the club but it's a kick in the bollocks that it's actually happened.