Ayatollah Hermione

Mind, these are racking up the bookings so not sure they’ll be able to be that physical in the second half. Not that the ref will notice any real offences, like

Also, in games like this, when we’re getting shuttled down the left, you need Hall in there sooner rather than later. I know he’s young and Burn hasn’t done a lot wrong but Hall will be far more natural there

We got a lot better as that half went on but there’s a creative spark missing, like. If Tonali is even halfway fit enough to do half an hour, he should be on and looking for Gordon’s runs

He’s starting today so I’d get the sheets down sharpish

Klopp’s tactic of just throwing on as many expensive attackers as he can and it working is starting to become annoying

This kid up front for Wolves who looks like he’s in The Pigeon Detectives is beyond shite, like. He’s a relegation battle in and of himself

They still have the “In Case of Emergency Break Glass on 80 Million quid Striker” button, sadly

If that desperately unfunny twat Fielding gets peddled off our TVs then it’ll be a national holiday in my house

In my forklifting days, I once sent a whole pallet of methadone smashing across the car park. Glass bottles as well. In my defence, I was still pissed from the night before and shouldn’t have been operating machinery so that’s on the employer

Shelvey off to a newly promoted Turkish team. it’s hard to believe that everyone thought out season would collapse in January because we sold him and now he’s out getting hair plugs in the arse end of Marmaris

Everyone seems to be labouring under the strange assumption that the next English manager should be English. Also, Steve Cooper would make a good international manager IMO. He’s switched on and has done it before, albeit with the youth teams

Maguire needs taken out of the firing line now, like. You could actually almost rely on him being solid for England no matter what but that’s finished, he’s a total liability and it’s actually spreading to the rest of whatever defence he plays in. Southgate can’t even argue that he has no other options because Guehi, Dunk and Collwill are all there now. The likes of Eze and Gibbs-White need to be getting more minutes ahead of the summer than Henderson as well. Also, why won’t he pick any other left back than Chilwell or Shaw? Rico Henry has been quietly good for a few seasons now. And you’d think some of the U21s, that went and won an actual tournament without conversing a goal may have got a look in. You can understand it being difficult for Gordon to get in with the attacking talent we have but it’s a very different story in midfield and defence. But no, Gallagher must get picked over players like Ramsey or Gibbs-White because he once played for Palace. Johnstone in nets ahead of Pope for the same reason, I can only assume.

That’s a grown man

Look at you all, fretting over rain. It’s still glorious here as I sit in a cafe bar that’s played nothing but 60s Motown up to now with Mythos on draft. If my lass wasn’t here, it’d be the perfect day

Happy belated, Mr. HeyMan. I’m embarking on that Health and Safety diploma so if you want, we can meet at the library and revise if you’re at a loose end?

It’s been a solid 29c today, brothers. Been in Afitos village, had some waxa Pastitso and am currently on one of our hotel terraces (sea view) drinking ice cold Alpha. You shall not have me beat

Weather has been terrible today but it cleared up long enough for me to hit a score of 999 on the “KICKER” machine that registers just how fucking brilliant your right foot is. Get Ryder on the phone, i’m available for any and all Champions League fixtures

I’ve seen plenty of young kids being cunts but nowt to that level tbf like. The whole fucking system is barely fit for purpose anymore though and those “security” lads that get on for two stops and jump right off are about as much use as a chocolate watch

Also, landed in Halkidiki to storm warnings and obscene wind. I can feel the compo face coming on now

Should be noted that this never happens to me and I go that way all the time. Sounds like SOMEONE looks like an easy target

This getting some news attention must be giving the lad from Puddle of Mudd hope that he’ll make the news when he croaks it. If he hasn’t already

Probably so when one sex pest got banned, the other one could cover for him

Thisnis where I am. This has absolutely been the hardest possible start but, on the other hand, I thought we’d get a better return.

Joelinton looked well off it. It’s easy to say in hindsight but surely you put Longstaff in when you see he’s off it in training

I think Tonali has been brought in to do Bruno’s “running” as it wer but he’s just responded by turning into Shelvey