Kitman

How's your stool looking today? Stool free so far *Head out of toilet window, beaming away, singing at the top of his voice* "Stool free..free as the wind blows.." He'll soil his taxi in a minute, you wait and see. Radical changes in lifestyle catch the unwary by surprise. Pity his poor passengers, I hope his windows work when he unexpectedly purges

I lost interest in Carroll the day he signed for Liverpool. He's dead to me now, dead

How's your stool looking today? Stool free so far Get on the pot. You're guaranteed to lose weight

I've seen that, or someone posted a version of it(before my time on here). Wasn't The Bill used to wind the smog up? Feckin hilarious tbh. Dead right, The Bill.... it was piss-yourself-laughing stuff at the time. I thought the Boro lad's brain was going to explode!

....or offer them out for a fight to show how hard you are. That always impresses people I remember once Gemmill wound up a Boro supporter on one of their message boards, I think to the point the lad posted his mobile number to arrange a showdown with Gem! iirc it was the night they lost in the UEFA so he had a complete melt down. I think he claimed to be kick boxing champion of the universe or similar too

How's your stool looking today?

Previous owners.....fifth most successful club......qualified for Europe......ambition....more than ever before......facts and truth.......your man Ashley......."plan" .......why do you dispute this........realistic.......why did they leave.......support the manager......the "fat bastard"...... There you go you forgot "trophy signings", "warehouses", "administration" and "prices of black and white shirts", and "Toonpack seems to be the new ASM" Quite right

Previous owners.....fifth most successful club......qualified for Europe......ambition....more than ever before......facts and truth.......your man Ashley......."plan" .......why do you dispute this........realistic.......why did they leave.......support the manager......the "fat bastard"...... There you go

Exactly, but read Carroll sentence he's an absolute knacker. If I was Ashley I'd be furious with him, it exposes just how dense they are. The evidence was there before anyway....the yank at Liverpool let the cat out of the bag by saying "the price for Torres was dependant on what Newcastle wanted for Carroll" and Torres stuck his transfer request in around 20th of January, plenty of time for us to line up someone better than Shefki fuckin Kuqi. But as you say, he probably doesnt realise he's just confirmed it with that pile of bollocks. I think KK is spot on, it'll be free transfers, unknown foreigners (will we get lucky twice? doubt it...) and out of contract crocks for us this summer. Considering the fact they only knew about Tiote because Keegan had Hughton scout him a couple of years ago, we better hope they still have their hands on Keegans old transfer targets lists. Keegan, or better put KK's ability to spot a player/potential, has left this club [Ashley & his sidekick Dekka] with quite a legacy, financially speaking. Bassong [10m, or thereabouts] in addition to what they'll recoup when Tiote [15m minimum] realises his football related ambitions are best achieved elsewhere, when his head is turned. 25m as a starting figure, that's quite a legacy. Plus 1 mill for Guthrie

As long as it doesn't have Harrison Ford or Rutger Hauer in any prequel/sequel, I don't see how it could spoil the original for anybody. I just hope they come with some original ideas though rather than just flogging a dead horse Disney style ("Bladerunner - the Kids").

Racismus!!! Snot!

492 posts and all of them shit

It's probably the case that he wouldn't come back anyway. It'd be like admitting he was wrong to leave in the first place.

how many times did they qualify for the Champions League Chez ? I meant that both Lerner and Ashley have come into the game about the same time and it looks like Ashley's approach has been better than Lerner's, from what that article says anyway. Lerner has spent £200m and has a squad that costs him nearly 90% of his turnover sitting in the bottom half. Lerner has tried to break into the CL places by spending big and backing his manager. Didnt work. What he needs is a plan

Are there any stats about accidents whilst applying make-up? The NZ speciality is driving and texting (men and women alike), which is a cretinous thing to do. That and cutting off corners. I mean why bother driving in your lane when it's quicker to round a corner in someone else's?

To us older fatter ones but not some of the young pups on here. Speak for yourself, I'm as skinny as a rake. And I've just had a kebab for lunch How old are you Kitman? A youthful 43. Born in the Summer of Love

The longer it goes without him playing, the happier I feel.

don't you mean "only fools and horses replies" , especially from Toonpack today, and other days from skidders and mancmag, all of whom seem to have no desire to do anything other than disagree with me That's probably because they disagree with you

To us older fatter ones but not some of the young pups on here. Speak for yourself, I'm as skinny as a rake. And I've just had a kebab for lunch

Another is; How many accidents do women cause Excellent point. A related question would be how many accidents involved a woman in the passenger seat talking about family, work or health issues in an unbroken monologue.

You miss the point. He readily admits (as do a few others), that the exercise is not a permanent thing and is usually a short lived occurrence, hence the eating habits the current gym work outs are allowing, will have to be knocked on the head once they cease. Yes, I too have observed how young people eat and drink too much, yet don't put on weight. Funny that

Other way round for me, my gym sessions started precisely because of the overeating. I'm sure that's true of a lot of people who weren't particularly active as kids - there comes a point where your metabolism doesn't do what it used to (and it's not as if I was ever stick-thin in the first place). Fortunately, exercising a bit and eating a bit more healthily aren't the hardest things in the world once you start to see the results and get the motivation that brings - it doesn't mean having to become a soulless GymBot. My point really (and I appreciate what you're saying). If we take the Gemmil example, (and dont take this personally Gemmil). Nearly every night he's cooking some delicious Jamie Oliver offering. While not the worst food in the world, those meals if combined with a normal breakfast lunch and a few treats , will produce a serious amount of calories. Because he is blasting the gym daily, the extra calories are being burned off and he should be keeping the weight off. By his own admission he has usually dwindled from the gym by March and it is at this point the calories will suddenly start to turn to fat. By bashing the gym it is allowing him to "cheat" the system. Add into this the fact that when your younger, you are naturally more energetic and your metabolism works better. When you are older, you are basically fucked. I appreciate they're are exceptions to the rule. So you're basically saying people get fatter when they get older because they exercise less and their metabolism slows down? Isn't that a bit obvious?

I'm surprised half the people posting in here have the time to do anything but exercise. By the time you've exercised, showered and preened, eaten, measured yourself, weighed yourself, admired yourself in the mirror several times, had a wank (cos goddamn you're looking good), had a shit, caught shit and measured stool, took pic of stool and texted it to mates for comment on size and quality, posted updates on exercise regime on here, conferred with fellow gym buddies and personal trainer, there can't be a lot of time left over for normal life. It's a day's work in itself

Yeah, plus if you make waves against a club like Chelsea, you'll probably never get a fair chance to make it as a player. It's a shame though.