Dazzler

Dennis Wise decided Modric was too lightweight for the premier league. Dennis. Wise. Pint sized Dennis Wise.

I look forward to making it 3 ballots entered with zero tickets. Meanwhile some devious bastard from New York City gets 10 tickets, free return flights and an all inclusive stay in the hilton.

This works on the basis that it would be trademark mackem to take something that clearly says "six things" and give you bonus things - none of which help their cause.

Aye, just play miggy and tino down the right since neither go near the touchline. Game on.

Here are six things to do in Sunderland: 1) Macking shite at the Glass Centre 2) Roker Beych 3) Leyve 4) Are yeh in mag land yet? 5) Honestly, marra there's nowt else. 6) Pleyse tack yeh penis owt of that sea bird.

That's a mask tbf

Footnote:

I've already shared the one pound fish man video today so I'll spare you a repeat. But this is that.

Aye. For them.

In that case all of the players on that green table were Ashley players and Fat Sam is a lying, history rewriting prick. Also, technically Sir John Hall fucked Ashley over too because it meant he had to pay off a con artist he never wanted to appoint. So it wasn't all bad. Probably saved us from having Pardew or Kinnear a lot sooner than we did.

"Howay pet, let's try and make a normal one and then we can drown Adam in the bath. Don't worry about that pet, look at him. Everyone will believe it was an accident."

Trip Advisor Review from 'BigPMitch81' for Yin Yang Massage - "Got a pinkie, but only up to the first knuckle. Barely felt anything. Absolutely shite."

Mackem 1: "Ere marra, aah heard the Saudis are selling the mags beycause the PSR is hampering them, yi nar" Mackem 2: "Hahahaha the teayrs on Tyneside will bey magnificent." Mackem 1: "Aye, aah've heard they're going to sell up and buy Villa, marra." Mackem 2: "Macks sense to me. Buy another teym that's definitely not hampered by the same rewls as the mags."

You can expect that, and hopefully Pep does too and Howe can spring a surprise on you. If we play like we have our defending will be crap and we'll barely ever break on you. We won't dominate possession either

The fella on the right with the face of a man who's just been told what a Thai lady boy will do to your ringpiece for 5000 baht.

From .com. Looks like Smith was later in the window. However, Ashley's 'freebies' included £10m of disclosed fees and an undisclosed amount for Alan Smith.

They sing the one pound fish song and the first one to mess the words up is D.

Darren Eales is the type of bloke that would walk in on his daughter and her friends getting ready for a night out and say "don't worry ladies, nothing I haven't seen before" with a fully on display semi. However, as a CEO he seems fine, if unspectacular so far. Definitely wouldn't have a pint with him though.

All that was appreciated, but I need to know when to stick on my tena pants because am I fuck walking about in them all day.

Not to be "that" bloke or anything. But you haven't put the kick off time and all the other fundamental information required for a match thread. Even LTA did that, albeit with a made up time and quite often the wrong date. But the effort was there. Please correct this.

Looks all set for a round of golf.

0-3 I'm not setting myself up for crushing disappointment.

Or coked up gypsy wankers when Tyson Fury arrives on the scene.