Gemmill

Nowt we can do about it. Players do have power when they are prepared to behave appallingly. No one expected Isak to go on like this. I just hope he breaks his fucking leg on arrival at Liverpool.

Try again but this time I want a rap entitled "Nicky with the thick dick". This is your chance to write your version of W.A.P.

I'm pleased if Isak's going. Means we get a clean break and Burn and Joelinton get a chance to launch him into the stands at Anfield. Reintegration would inevitably have a destabilising effect.

That's his fault, not ours. He doesn't deserve to play for us or Eddie Howe anymore anyway.

If we get Wissa or Strand Larsen on top of this kid, we've had an unbelievable window.

Just looks like your average German exchange student.

We've all done it. Just today, Toonpack said we'd signed Strand Larsen, did a post that made him look like a mackem, and then an hour later couldn't remember doing either.

Wait a minute, I just need to update something.... *ahem* SIGNINGS SINCE "IMO OUR BUSINESS IS DONE": .......THREE!

Nick Noodle bean. Why's he got two names? Although I'd do the same if I was a noodle bean.

Reintegrate Isak then make him play second fiddle to Thick Dick Nick.

I assume Stuttgart kept quiet cos they didn't want to sell him to Bayern?

We must have been on this deal for days. Excellent undercover work from both clubs.

Dont ruin the atmosphere CT.

FUCK OFF.

It's been confirmed now.

Genuinely worried the Bilbao squad might get kidnapped.

Andy Howe is getting fucking wrecked tonight.

He better not go on strike next summer to get his move to Bayern.

We're a Sky Sports confirmation away from being able to safely go back to thinking that Strand Larsen is probably a bit shit.

Once this is confirmed by multiple sources, it's time to fire up YouTube.

Too much is hockling in a lass's face. Too much is breaking into a stadium when you haven't got a ticket. Too much is getting every English team banned from Europe for years. A banner and a hostile atmosphere is normal. Dickhead.

Whoa.

It's Operation Market Garden all over again. We're all whistling the Great Escape theme.

Craig exposing himself again as a light theme user. An absolute war crime.

Barcelona (H) PSG (A) Leverkusen (A)