Gemmill

It's a fucking ludicrous measurement system. I mean they measure solid ingredients in cups. How the fuck am I supposed to know in advance of buying mushrooms, what a cup of chopped mushrooms looks like. A half a cup of chopped parsley. Like am I squashing the fucker down? Just give me a weight ffs. No wonder they ended voting Trump in twice.

"Back on form". We're watching a man wet himself in real time.

Londonderry, please.

Eh? This is absolutely ridiculous patter.

The probability of beating a team 4 times in any given season improves dramatically when you've already beaten them 3 times.

One of the worst things about VAR is a referee not making a decision on the pitch because he knows VAR will check it, and then VAR deciding there isn't enough to overturn the referee's "decision". But the referee has explicitly made no decision. So you end up with them both opting for the "no decision" route and now it's somehow no one's fault that a decision got missed. I t's fucking idiotic. If the ref isn't sure, he should be able to say "lads I missed that one, could you please review and let me know."

He'd get Pickford these days.

The new Bridget.

I've just accepted my role as the parent of a serial killer.

We got her a collar with a bell on it when she was relentlessly murdering just mice. There was about a week of no murders, and then they resumed so she obviously worked out a new technique - I assume holding the bell still with her front paws and wading in on her hind legs.

A CLASSIC British funny man at the top of his game, is what it is.

Political correctness put the Golightly Family out of work. Nobody talks about that when they're accusing people of fat shaming.

Here we go.

Remember the Golightly Family on Beadle's About. Parading through fine China shops knocking everything off the shelves cos they were all massive. Same joke every week - watch theese fat cunts knock stuff over or break things in furniture shops by sitting on them. Ahhh the good old days.

Ray Comfort btw. Like a name Bob Mortimer would make up.

Aye so was this lad...

I hope they have a promising start to next season (let's say 7th after 5 games) and then completely fall off it again. Will be gratifying to hear how "United are back!" from all these emotional fanboys masquerading as pundits and journalists, only to have to watch it all go tits up again.

Aye I have ZERO faith in Fulham pulling out results at this stage of the season. Them and Brighton have been playing hot potato with 8th spot for weeks now.

I'm sure they're just working on a piece. We should wait and see.

The rabbits have paid the price for a week or so of escaping my cat. Came down this morning and there was a dead rabbit with its head bitten off on the kitchen floor. Its head lay a foot or so away. Fucking. Gross.

CT's ran it through the supercomputer, and ALL of their remaining games are now MUST WIN.

"Calm down, calm down!"

"since I was born" is funny for some reason.

They've had some luck this season, Forest. Getting nearly 20 goals out of Wood being right up there. But it's completely deserted them today. Oh well. Hope Man City howk Palace in the final.