Gemmill

Cold turkey bitch. You've been off the tabs for years, you can get off these again, you're just gonna have to have a shit couple of weeks.

Mr Inbetween is very good too. As first recommended by @Kid Dynamite.

He was posting publicly about wanking in his bath the other day, so that gin is ALL YOURS.

Northern Spirit is what Dances with Wolves would call his horse btw. It's not the name of a sports team.

Can I just check: are you counting a lass with your finger in her gob as your best ever blowjob?

Never done it either. A very confident and very costly declaration from Renton.

The lad shit his pants in the office. He needs to wipe his bum and take his medicine.

Was he hoping for Huggies Pull Ups? Mummy, WOW! I'm a big boy now.

Southgate man. What a fucking knobhead.

I'm gonna need to bring the dates of the workshop forward.

You are a human clipboard.

Ankle update for @thebrokendoll Grade 1 tear and an avulsion fracture. Let's not anyone forget here that I was 1.5km into a run and I ran a further 4.5km on this ankle. TBD actually rode his dog home like it was Seabiscuit when he broke his collarbone.

Your 5 year old is 44?!

I watched an episode baked once, and I just kept turning to my lass and going "Is there meant to be something wrong with him?" I couldn't get over the way he was behaving and talking to people. She put if off in the end cos I was getting on her tits so much.

Your national dish is cabbage, bitch. Don't talk to me about flavours.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_w6O_hCQUh/?igsh=MTNlZmF4eHEzam56aw==

Ugh. Just a ridiculous human being.

Box of pampers on his desk for when he gets back to work, please.

We've got friends whose kids basically live on beige food. Chicken dippers and chips mostly. If they come to ours, the kids either eat before they come, or they bring shit with them. If they go out somewhere, the kids basically only eat garlic bread. Their mam says "you've got to pick your battles", but it's always struck me that just letting your kids eat pure garbage is probably conceding the wrong battle. We've got a grown up version of this as well. A lass who eats that shit at home, won't eat veg, and will only eat at restaurants if they do goujons or a chicken burger. And all the lettuce and tomato comes out of the burger the second the plate hits the table. This is someone of around 40. I mean just fuck off will you.

You still OK to be guest speaker?

Aye he owns something like 1.4% or something daft like that.

I'll invite him to my workshop.

All that money and all he wants is to be funny and liked, and then he comes out with reeking patter like this, and you see how that's gonna be an ongoing problem for him.

The problem with putting it in the budget is how late in the day that is. It would be springing it on pensioners with about a month til they expected to receive it.

It's from the documentary on Netflix. There were death threats and all sorts after it. It's a nonsense to say this is a no consequence endorsement for someone in her position. Would be a lot easier not to get involved.