Gemmill

Their real beef with Howe is that he singlehandedly turned Bournemouth into a bigger club than them with a 10k capacity stadium.

That's what she's telling you...

The BBC absolutely sticking with the Mo Farah, national hero, angle. The only runner on Salazar's books that wasn't doped to the gills.

I wonder what his dad, Wiz, makes of it all.

Howe has just started the GNR and is high fiving runners as they go past. Stand by for some tales of mackems leaving Eddie hanging and looking/feeling like a mug, probably never getting over the embarrassment.

"Top tottyyyyyy!"

Happy birthday old man! Sorry to hear about your absolutely bullshit employer sending your redundancy on the same day. When are we running the first Toontastic Excel Boot Camp?

The Brazilian lads aren't getting back for Brentford until the last minute. I wouldn't be surprised if it's cos of that, rather than not wanting to spend the rest of his career inventing new ways to tragically miss out on going to major international tournaments.

Did you keep showing him pictures of sausages on your phone?

Feels bad, but I don't hate this news.

Drip drip drip can't save Sunak. He needs a tsunami from somewhere.

Are you getting some PL? Or would you already have piled in by now if you were?

Aye its a very different country to the last time we were in the CL, and the NE has been hammered more than most of it.

Straying dangerously close to "When will YOU answer MY simple question?" territory here. I wish I had the data on LM's age when he first started this.

I had no idea that the metro was hiring security guards. Do any of you fancy starting a Guardian Angels like they had in the tube and the subway in New York. Obviously I'll be the gaffer cos I'm the hardest. We'll wear red berets and shiny red jackets like the original lads to ensure we command maximum respect.

@Renton

Go on, tell us how it works in rugby. WE KNOW YOU WANT TO!

Don't they just demote them to the Championship instead? "You got it wrong Dave." "Howard, please." "Dave, there's nothing I can do." "Howard, I've got a family!? Please Howard, don't-" "You're going to Sunderland, Dave."

Proper supply teacher vibes.

I work in Boro one day a week. Looking out the window of our offices is like playing The Last of Us on a massive screen. Drunks, junkies, scraps in the street, all day long. There was one lass tried to take a "short cut" through a hedge. This thing is about 8 foot deep and runs parallel to a path which she could have just walked along, but she was so out of it she went through the hedge. Took her about 3 minutes to move 8 feet and she eventually faceplanted out of the end of it onto the kerb and had to be picked up by some (also drunk) passersby.

That was different, she had to ask me to STOP feeling them.

The answer to all of the above BTW is you calmly take off whatever top you're currently wearing, put on your white chef's jacket and say "Right big boy, do you wanna fucking go?"

To be fair, it sounds like this lass knows you.

Dave, I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't improve on my puns in future.