Gemmill

"Just a collision"

Jimmy Buffett died. I didn't know who this bloke was til I went to America but he was huge over there. Had a song called Margaritaville which was turned into a restaurant chain. Anyway, Jimmy hit the Buffers more like.

Man United have got the Box Crasher market cornered.

I've no doubt there'll be clamour for my services at some point in the season. Let the Matildas take the easy ones.

Smash Mouth are now full QAnon anti vax Trump lunatics aren't they? Not this dead lad obviously.

"These"

Imagine writing this article. And then imagine having an editor that would print it.

I'm your Nellie Oleson.

PaddockLauraIngalls.

Aye, I don't get it either. Not sure she's put a foot wrong.

Sunak proudly declaring that 95% of schools are safe, I don't think is quite the win that he was hoping for. Just the 5% at risk of collapse then Prime Minister? That's 1,100 schools BTW.

Wait til Billy Gilmour's balls drop and he's bringing his little scrote onto the pitchnin a Scotland babygro, feeding it Irn Bru from a Tommy Tippee. We won't be hearing any of this shit.

Between you and me Dave, he just likes to repeat OVER AND OVER AGAIN that someone from Scotland had a good game. And I'm absolutely fucking sick of it. He just needs to put his spray-on Scotland top on, have a posh wank, and leave our Copacabana hottie the fuck alone.

Marriage has changed PaddockLad. He was so lovely before it.

Send a message to the WAGs too.

This has been rumoured for a while, which makes it all the more insane that their initial plan was to stand by Greenwood.

You simply cannot be letting a Matilda start a match thread of this significance.

Classic scam artistry from your mate there, Craig. I'd report him. I'm a gigantic hermit, so I'll not be out on Friday though, sorry!

This feels like a HUGE misstep.

The baby stuff though. I just think he's massively enamoured with the club and the area, which is lovely, and he's obviously obsessed with his kid as well. I can forgive him it. If I find out he's been breast feeding him at half time, I'll have to have a rethink though. Joelinton needs those calories atm.

I honestly think he needs dropped, he hasn't looked right this season and no longer has the excuse of the ankle thing. It might be that Howe thinks that the only way to get him and Tonali to play together is by working on it in training and then putting them in match situations together. Which obviously fucks us when you get a set of opening fixtures like we've had. I'd drop him but I wouldn't be at all surprised if half an hour into the game we're all saying how much we miss him.

If this continues, I will knock your topknot clean off. Like a hipster slaying William Tell.