Smooth Operator

Does the rollover from Saturday go into tonights draw or this Saturday's? There's 11 mill with my motherfucking name on!!

Bought a pair of trainers online from Office and the delivery company they use is UPS who have proved fucking useless in this instance. They tried to deliver them on Friday last week but no-one was in so they left a note saying they'd try again on Monday but couldn't say what time. So I rang them on Monday and said no-one would be in and gave them my work address and mobile number with instructions to ring me when the delivery bloke got here and I would walk down and pick them up seeing as he couldn't get on site where I work. So the daft bastard decided not to ring me this morning when he turned up and instead handed them to the security guards who have in turn put them in the DWP internal mail!!! Now our internal mail is absolutely shite these days and stuff regularly goes missing so I'm not holding out much hope that htese trainers will turn up before the weekend if at all. So I'm gonna be keeping a close eye of the messengers in my building to see if any of them are sporting a fancy new pair of Adidas and then knock them the fuck out should one of them have them on!!

She's not in accounts, she's in Comms!!

I do fuck all on a daily basis anyway my friend! Not cos I'm a lazy bastard but cos there's nee work to be done - no wonder I'm getting redeployed!!

big brother boy ? Obviously, just for the dressing room banter if nowt else!!

Want fucking shot imo. Loads of these twats where I work, the worst being those fat bastards who do it under the guise of having a hot drink they think they'll spill if they take the stairs and have to broadcast it to everyone in the lift to make themselves feel better. Lazy bastards!

I'd spunk all over my Primark Y fronts if we got any of the following: Berbatov Deco Chimbonda Hutton Carrick Campbell

Oh how the mighty have fallen!! Remember chatting her up on Starbucks not so long ago, she was fine then. She's got one of the nicest looking minges I ever did see. Bit gnarly now like by the look of her, but if i was honest I probably still would!

They're all at the ground. i'm sure ssn have got one matey boy permanently positioned outside the ground and one outside the training ground. can't see how they'd have missed shearer Are you for one moment doubting the source of this story? This is SMO ffs! The man's word is gospel truth. I don't even like Gregg's man!!

Owen and Defoe - couldn't think of a pairing with a worst first touch between them tbh!

Spottd on the road coming away from the Training ground though you doughnut!

I've just walked up to Greg's at 4 Lane Ends about 45 minutes ago on my lunch break and saw Shearer drove past me coming down from the direction of the training ground - dare I say it but he could be heading to the ground to take part in this eagerly awaited press conference!!!

That was obvious and common knowledge amongst leading Tyneside sources. I.e. me and Anal Oliver!!! Another clue as to who the manager is. Some know him by a different first name to his actual first name!

That was obvious and common knowledge amongst leading Tyneside sources. I.e. me and Anal Oliver!!!

Stop the mother fucking press - Shearer's a cunt shocker!! We've known that for years ffs. He used to have a flat in Jesmond that he bought on the QT where him and all his croonies would go after a night out with various slappers of the North-East. Apparently there was many a night where Shearer passed out on the floor of this flat, cock in hand, to mortal to pull himself to his feet!! Scumbag!!

Fatty Terim ffs!! Reckon there's a few managers gutted they've just taken the jobs they have, Hodgson and Bruce to name but a few. Would commit hari-kari on the halfway line if Bruce ever got the job personally! Although alarmingly he's just the kind of cunt to walk out on Wigan after only a few weeks for a bigger job.

Damn right rude boy!! I've left it a bit and got 10/1 for Hughes this afternoon.

Nee one's guessed who it is yet!! Reckon it would have been his last 5k, he's not what I would call a rich man.

My mate who works for an online betting company was speaking to one of his regular clients earlier today (an experienced manager who does a bit punditary and never blinks on tv!! Can you guess who it is?) who told him Hughes was defo gonna be the next Toon boss and proceded to back him with 5k at 4/1. So my mate had a bit of that action but Hughes has since gone out to 8/1 what with Deschamps now in the frame. Make of it what you will.

I'm assuming he's jumping as we speak/type!

Anyone know of any canny webites offering decent all-inclusive deals?

Neither. He graduates in the summer, and can we fuck afford to stay in London long-term, so... So you thought you'd increase the brown population of Newcastle by 2!! FFS man. You'll end up in a flat above Camp David, mark my words!!

When I say jump though Jimbo says how high!!

Why you moving back? You and the bumboy split? Or did you split the bumboy and now he's of no use to you? Get a council house, buy it cheap and then sell it high!! Gays can get council houses too nowadays!!

Oz was mint. Are there boxsets of it available? Adobesi's (Mr Echo from Lost) character was class, even if he did have a penchant for bumming inmates!!!