Brock Manson

Wonderful, wonderful goal.

Argentina are very unconvincing going forward for a team that has Higuain, Aguero and Messi as a front 3.

Sturridge is too greedy and nowhere near clinical enough to do it for England yet. Hopefully this tournament experience will do him good and come the Euros he won't be trying to sidefoot one in from 25 yards out anymore. Rooney is comfortably England's best technical player, and his coming deep to get the ball is mostly because we're playing Gerrard in the holding midfielder role. When your two CMs are Gerrard and Henderson, there's no-one to pick the passes to the forwards - hence Rooney dropping so deep against Uruguay to set off Sterling & Sturridge. The latter two were both poor against Uruguay (although Sturridge did very well for our goal). Not necessarily their fault given it's very much in at the deep end for them, but they should both have been benched at half time. Also it's a bit unfair to criticise Rooney for hitting the bar with that header - he was always going to be under it but he was the only player attacking that ball in a scoring position. None of the other fuckers scarcely got anywhere near a threatening position all night. It was an inch away from hitting the bar and going in. Our current problem is we're over-reliant on Rooney to provide the majority of our goals and assists. We don't have the players who can conjure something out of nothing or be clinical enough to stick away two chances like Suarez.

Cabaye still feeling the effects of being pardewed.

The fondue-slurping neutral nazi gold hoarders are in pieces.

Italy Uruguay will be a draw - both looked nowt special. Costa Rica the underdogs but definitely proving to be the most dangerous attacking team in the group. They'll put at least two past our shambling lot.

How long do you have to microwave burgers? I didn't do my car biscuit experiment - weather forecast said it'd be 19C out so I didn't bother. It ended up being pretty sweltering so i'm a bit miffed. Going to prep some salmon fillets and make up a peach salsa to spoon on top for tea. Salsa is 1 peach, minced red onion, handful fresh coriander, nip of tequila and a squeeze of lime juice. Then I'll just microwave the whole lot together and post a shit photo of it.

Beautiful goal.

BBC doing a great job at cultural sensitivity when reporting on japanese football there.

Abysmal bottling of a decision.

Not offside when the ball comes off the defending team's player...

We switch off routinely at the back, we don't create enough chances to score but we do have some pretty build-up play from time to time. Wrong manager for this sort of team, wrong captain.

Should be starting ahead of Sterling.

Jagielka has been shite tonight. Missed the interception for Suarez's goal, although the fact no-one else tracked his run was just as shoddy.

Gusto and timing.

Do we have the ugliest squad at the WC? ITV shouldn't have been allowed to cover England games. Fed up with this already.

Biscuits of the confectionary variety, you charlatan!

Colombian player goes down 'injured' from Tiote's challenge, Colombia play on advantage and have a shot that's saved. IC then counter-attack with the Colombians urging them to kick the ball out of play. Can't have it both ways ffs.

Tomorrow I'm leaving a baking tray with raw biscuit dough in my car to see if I'll have biscuits by the time I finish work. Bet the weather will be shit.

Excruciating.

Wonderful game of football this second half. Cracking goal there from Gervinho. Colombia are pretty decent to watch in this tournament.

Think he'd struggle to find a big enough microwave.

Not as bad as Pearce crowing at the goal line technology.

Whole team in their own half defending - it's not hard when you only have Torres to keep out. Where did 6 minutes come from?

Spain aren't set up to break down Chile. If you're 2-0 down throw the kitchen sink at them, don't just stick with one up top and hope Iniesta can conjure a wondergoal. They haven't even attempted to implement the system that saw them dominate international football for 8 years, either. Like Ant said - no plan b.