Walliver

Never sucked cock Never had a period Never had a sex change

Police probably worked out it was a fake straight away and spent the next eight hours (or however long it took them, something ridiculous like that) doing exactly that.

Looks like Kevin was right.

Got home from work today to hear news reports that 18-year-old girl in a well-to-do suburb of Sydney has a collar bomb attached to her. A man with a balaclava is said to have broken into the house in the afternoon and left a ransom note, although the police say they don't know the motive. This girl has been in this situation for around six hours now, with police trying to work out if it actually is a bomb and if they can safely remove it. Apparently she doesn't know how the bomb got attached to her, which sounds a bit suss. WTF? Story, absolutely mental.

No need to beat around the bush, DEADMAN. Do you think Ashley's a good owner?

I'm sure everyone's seen the likes of Lemon Party, Blue Waffle, Meat Spin and Two Girls One Cup by now, so I'll post this which I only just found out about.

Meenzer

Cheyne (/Benny/adidas/etc).

It's like when people write f**k. What's the point? Everyone knows you mean fuck, either write it fully or use another word.

I think Steven's right - she's okay, but definitely not deserving of a place in this thread.

Aye, I wasn't sure about that so I made sure I had a decent back up keeper in case Fab wasn't playing.

I've just read the Dirk Gently novels and although both had great patches, overall I was a bit disappointed by them.

I'm in, hoping a few transfer rumours go through. Can someone remind me in about two months that I'm playing this, because I'll forget otherwise. </preparing excuses> Fabianski (Schwarzer) W Brown Skrtel Jagielka Clichy (Shawcross) Downing Modric Arshavin Kalou (McArthur) Henandez Dzeko (Ba)

Yes to this. Don't know where I'd want to live though, be surprised if I stayed in this shit-tip of a country though. You don't need millions to leave, why do you stay? I know someone who says that if he won the lottery he'd learn to play the guitar and how to speak Spanish. Again, not exactly things you need millions to do. For the record I have no idea how I could get close to spending £161m.

I hope you've tweeted that to him.

Pay off Smith's contract.

That made me laugh Xisco and Nacho Gonzalez. Strange deals, never satisfactorily explained. I assume someone did well out of it I also want to know what Ashley did with the money from the transfer of Santiago Muñez & Gavin Harris to Madrid - the cheap cunt that he is! no wonder we're short of strikers if we're selling the fictional ones too ! Munez was part of the deal that brought Owen to the club, Harris had already gone by then as well, so that was down to Shepherd not Ashley. Don't you know ANYTHING about the club?

60% British I feel pretty British. I was born in England to English parents but I lived in Scotland for most of my life. I think when I'm in Scotland I'm seen as English and vice versa. Abroad I can be what I want to be, but Scottish generally gets a better response. In sport I'd always cheer for England but I want Scotland to do well, just not quite as well as England otherwise I'd never hear the end of it.

I just went to it and it let me sign up straight away. Not sure if it's opening up completely -- I did already have a couple of people who had added me to circles, but I had no idea about this.

http://www.realmallorca.co.uk/news/club/20...ourts-once-more Don't know how good he is but apparently a typo in his contract means he's available for 18k instead of 18m. Sounds like the sort of escape clause we're normally looking at.

Guys, guys, relax. He can cover both, it's fine.

Inverness number eight? For the love of minge! Why would anyone go there?

Anyone but Shola. Or Smith.

Back in the day (sometime in the 90s), West Ham signed Joey Beachamp and sold him before he played a game. Looked at Wiki and it says they signed him in 1994 for £1.2m from Oxford and sold him 58 days later for £800k + a player to Swindon... because he didn't like the commute.

Made all the funnier by the way they lost.