Walliver

I played the demo at a mate's house recently while I was waiting for him to get ready. I enjoyed it very much. Can you get it on anything other than the 360 ?

Penis pumps have been in the news quite a bit this week Wow !

1. Today my package from Amazon arrived (Jackson United - Western Ballads and 'Does Anything Eat Wasps ?') two days before it was supposed to. 2. Today I persuaded a second girl at work to grow a pattern in her leg hair. 3. This was after watching My Super Ex-Girlfriend which has one of the greatest movie lines of all time in it - "Why did g-girl throw a shark at us ?" 4. I haven't had a decent meal in ages. 5. My socks feel sweaty, sticky and horrible.

Surely you'd just given extra shifts to cover their disappearances ? You've not thought this one through properly, have you ?

No according to their MySpace, they sound nothing like the Pipettes (who are amazing) but they do have a similar look. Not sure I'm at all keen on the Puppini Sisters.

You're buying chips from the wrong place. http://www.tesco.com/superstore/product/pr...prodId=50571664

I can't remember which shavor it is but at the moment there's a big poster for one near my flat. As well as about three blades on the front, it has one on the back. How does that work ?

Not yet. I've still got a year to go on my degree (despite what I said about it being a waste of time, now that I've started it I want to finish it to at least get the stupid thing). Luckily I have quite a lot of experience writing for different newspapers, official matchday programmes and now the student magazine so I should be okay for getting a job. That would be my second piece of advice - if you ignore my first piece of advice and go to uni, get in on the student magazine/paper as soon as you can. I left it until my last year but wish I'd done it sooner; the more you have to show a possible employer of your work, the better. And you get free CDs and tickets...

The best I've seen live is Richard Herring. I saw him a couple of years ago at the Edinburgh festival and because of that I went to see him again this year and he was by far the funniest man I saw. Stewart Lee, who's always been sold out when I've tried to see his show, was great on TV. The worst I've seen is probably Rich Hall. I think he's funny when he's on gameshows but when he was all by himself he was a little disappointing, which was a shame.

I can't be bothered going back to quote but whoever it was that said they're going to do a Journalism degree - but don't bother. I'm doing one at RGU (also a former polytechnic) and it teaches very little that you need to know and, having spoken to a few proper journalists, I know a lot of employers don't care about whether you have a degree or not - from a course with the backing of journalists or otherwise - they'd much rather see experience writing for someone on your CV. I'd advise you to try and get a job working for a local paper. I know it's not very flashy but four years working at a paper will put you miles ahead of most people with a degree when it comes to getting a proper job. They'll give you all the training you need to be a proper journalist and it will all be a lot more relevant than what you get taught at uni. If you really want, the NUJ run loads of courses in different aspects of journalism which you could attend and your employers would probably pay for you to go to them. Having said that, I am thankful for coming to university as living away from my parents has helped me mature immensely. At school I always thought I was quite grown up but having to move away from home, cope for myself, fund myself and make new friends without running back to the folks whenever things looked a little scary has proved that I was rubbish back then.

I originally fixed this a few weeks ago by reinstalling Windows and this morning I was having the same problem. I realised that yesterday there was only one thing I had installed on my computer - Windows XP Service Pack 2. I uninstalled this and now the problem has gone ! Why are Microsoft trying to ruin my computer ?

I found out about this a few months ago and told all my friends - it's going to be the best thing ever ! First time it's been held in Britain, you know. There is also a World Beard and Moustache Association (http://www.wbma.info). It has quite possibly the greatest ever aim of any club ever created in the history of the world ever - "The purpose of the World Beard and Moustache Association is to promote the worldwide appreciation of beards and moustaches, and to co-ordinate and regulate international events, including competitions, held in such a manner as to encourage friendship among those with beards and moustaches." How amazing is that ?

I'm not sure yet, she's been away for a few days. While I'm waiting for her, I have another, not completely unrelated, question to ask. When releaxing in a gentleman's way, do you always shake hands with the unemployed in the same position or do you try to mix it up a bit ?

What was the man with the gun after ? Is it just something silly like, 'Pick Gary Breen - or else !" ?

Doesn't look anywhere near up to the standard of Street Fighter, tbh.

What sort of things do you say/like having said to you ? I've always been quiet whilst on the job but recently a girl said 'speak to me' and I had no idea what she wanted me to say. I'm normally quite shy and I don't like swearing so dirty talk just seems weird and unnatural to me. I also haven't watched much porn to see what's said on there but I'm not sure how much of it would be relevant to real sex - I like girls who use words (and noises) to let me know how well I'm doing ('this is amazing', 'harder/slower', 'oh yeah', 'omg', etc) but when they say something like 'your huge, hard cock feels amazing inside me' I'm left thinking 'wtf' and want to laugh at them. A man telling a girl that he likes having sex seems a little redundant and, especially if it's something like the missionary position where he's in control, hints seem pointless. What should/shouldn't I say to them ?

A chopper in an axe wound ? Where's the NSFW warning ?

Faye and Traore - best double swoop ever !

Andy Cole was my first hero. I fondly remember when he appeared in Match in a black and white Santa costume...

Many of the ones above annoy me. Y'know what I mean ? - no, explain yourself properly. Fucking in every second sentence. A friend of a friend does this and he makes me laugh at him/cringe all the time. I also hate people when they say 'no offence but...' followed by possibly the most offensive thing ever said.

Mr Woo is the evolved state of Kerlon tbh. We should sign him - how are you meant to tackle someone balancing the ball on his head/back of his neck ?

Would it be extremely painful to get a tattoo on the sole of your foot or not ?

Sorry, I meant to say that. When I press F8, instead of giving me the option to go in safe mode, it asks me where I'd like to boot from. I've tried all the options but none of them seem to work. Hopefully I can find my boot CD quite soon...

All three Elgin kits are amazing this season. Get them all.

Instead of giving me the option to go in safe mode, it asks me where I'd like to boot from. I've tried all the options but none of them seem to work. Hopefully I can find my boot CD quite soon...