JawD

Berb in grooming scandle! You just cant spread rumours like that!

No, I looked as well, but it was mentioned on the news this morning when they review the papers.

This is the only bit you need to read You just couldnt make it up. Well, you could. they did!

Neil Diamond - Pretty Amazing Grace (I am turning into my Dad.....)

Id get that white paint of its feet as well or your lass will go mental if them footprints get on the carpet...

Dont worry, the only thing that will change in 6 month is you get to add - chew - into that cylce

I love how you've scrambled in 10 posts and then put that in here so you dont get accused of coming here with only one post

He lives! Happy Birthday!

You old cunt mate. Oi! That the first one I got aswell. I got that and WHAM! - Make It Big on the same day. I did NOT get wham

Well now you've read it as well.

Is that a city? Now you're just being picky. It's a dump of the highest proportion. Its doesnt even qualify as a shanty town let alone city But, for the sake of your question, probably Bradford.

I don't have a Goldfish

Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant. Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder. Phil: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living? Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession. Phil: - Oh! What's that then? Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home? Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it? Phil: - It's in a pond! Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden! Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house? Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself! Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children. Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis? Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week! Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often? Phil: - Me? Never. Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Phil: - How's that then? Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life! Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate. Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! Eric: - What's that then? Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? Eric: - Nope. Phil: - Well then, you're a Wanker

Ok, its not England, but Rhyl deserves a mention non the less.

Fucking hell! It's even in the post above yours. I saw both Laurent Robert and Olivier Bernard at the waffle machine in the Marriott hotel in Toronto at the start of June. Bernard was limping quite a bit (obviously as a result of his hip op), and Robert was telling me what a bad time he'd had at Portsmouth - hoe badly he'd been treated. ROBERT PIMPED AROUND BY POMPEY! Ok, this is getting silly now

ASHLEY TO TURN NUFC INTO SHOE REPAIRING OUTFIT!

So they instigated the whole thing but all of a sudden Ashley 'iz the sell0rz!!1!!!' Thats just it. They approached him and suddenly he wants to sell? He'd be made not to listen but they have already said they baulked at his asking price. Hardly like he is desperate to shift it is it?

Well, there is added confusion as the player was part owned by the argentinian outfit?

Thats absolute bollocks. Firstly understand that everything has a price. While Ashley might not be selling the club, of course if the right offer came in he would consider it. He paid around £250M or whatever for the club including paying off debts so this would be a hell of a deal for him. However, as I understand it was way over what the US firm wanted to pay for it. So, they are interested and offer £320M or whatever it was, Ashley says no £420M and its yours and they say no? Something out of nothing by the sun.

My fatha did as well. Lucky bastard.

Oh come I was twelve man! Oddly though, at the time I was into a fair bit of ska / 2tone - just listened to my bro's

Arsenal sign Messi .... . . . .

canny that one