Monkeys Fist

If he'd been in CT mode, the brekky would've been .....

By Jove , he's right!

Old man creeps into kids' bedroom and fills sock left on bed. Aye, nowt dodgy about that.

You realise this entire thread is pointless? You're going to stand up tomorrow , open your mouth to speak, and a strangulated croak will emerge , at the same time as you realise that "NOTHING I SAY WILL BE FUNNY, THEY'LL ALL HATE ME!" This will be accompanyied by a growing dark patch as you involuntarily piss yourself at the horror, THE HORROR, of it all going so badly wrong from the first second. That, or else everything will be fine.

Utter burble-ese. The only thing I picked out was Freddy's Dead, thinking, " Hello? A bit of Curtis? Who'd have thought it?" Then I remembered it was the Taste Vacuum of Boldon and re-read it.

This one's for Parky, should ramp up the tin hat levels a notch or two http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-22380287

Stag Fight!!

BE 1NG

Was she A Knockout?

The best thing about having kids is getting to go see cartoons at the cinema again without being Yewtreed.

If human body-lice hadn't died out , the little fuckers could travel from my eyebrows to my toes by any route whatsoever.

That's another thing, until I started going bald, I wasn't particularly hairy , bodywise. I daren't go near Velcro now.

Tell your lass to buy her own

Wait until your plums get their first grey "friend" J69, then you'll feel old. Edit: a second of eye stinging plucking, then it's " Can't see it, never happened "

Wet shaves. Can't be beat

Anyone on here got one? You're a Cathword

Is there rabbit shit in those "things" you're eating?

A3 TDi 2.0L Sport. Delivered at 12.30 this afternoon, it's the start of a beautiful friendship.

Yes, that's him, the bald headed pseudo gangster. He is an uber-dickhead . Thanks for clearing that up

but, *abseiling.

Help her out man, you lazy good-for-nothing!

He's put weight on and it's " gone straight to his fingers".