Monkeys Fist

Nicking that!

You'd let him beat the shit out of Mrs. HF with a baseball bat? Soopafan.

No mate, if I meant his micro-johnson I would've said "cilia"

Pasta and rice?

Happy Birthday KK, thanks for the memories. You too Andrew

Sadly, since I'm working away, I will miss the commercialised sick fest this year. I've decided the only way to soothe my aching heart is by watching the match in the pub tonight. Sent The Wench a card, and also one for my daughter as she's become aware of it through school and would be gutted if she missed out. She's five.

Who's she Tooj? Knockout!

Finally! .....

"Chilli Flakes ...... Crushed Chilli ...... Same thing...?"

Ronaldo - taking the piss. 1-1.

Look in the exotic foods section. If its like Morrisons, you'll find a massive bag of them for a couple of quid.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Fitba

Dunno mind, having The Tubster's stink pipe rubbed around on top of me would have me reaching for the rope.

Tonight was battle of the hates for me - Celtic (club, fans,the lot) v Andy Bellsend. Andy wins.

CT sat on it.

Rod Stewart- fuck me! He looks like Thatcher!

I watched it last night sat next to a table full of Wall Pushers. The whining nearly made my ears bleed

And sorry to hear both of your bad news Jill and Fish.