Monkeys Fist

They raffle that seat each game as the Annual Bath Lottery.

I suppose, aye. It’s one of the great things about the FA cup, mind, that being drawn against one of the big boys can help out these little struggling teams with things like ground rent, lift repairs and whatever.

I didn’t think they’d want our tainted blood money?

No surprise there mind- You ever tried shouting when you’re having a shit?

Did you shove them down the back of your designated driver’s wheelchair?

Team sausage, then Team Pissybed, then Team Sausage, all in one sentence. Which team thread is this again?

So Gloomys kids, what were your Dads last words? Well…err…

You can be as silver-tongued as you like, he’s not going to give it to you

Terrible thing amputation- you’re an inspiration to the rest of us one-handed browsers.

As someone said, Howe never tells the truth about injuries- why would he give his oppo the advantage?

Any luck yet ?

Looks nowt like me, cheeky mare!

Guaranteed the lad had his tongue sticking out as he was drawing it.

Since it’s been Christmas for the last two months, time to roll out a festive classic… David Bowie bumps in to Bing Crosby in heaven, and suggests they sing Little Drummer Boy for the angels and shit. Bing says ” I’d love to David, but I’m having trouble with my inflatable arsehole I had fitted just before I died” Bowie says ” No worries Bing I’ve got just the thing!” BC - “ A rubber bum pump?” DB - “ A rubber bum pump!” Both- “ A rubber bum pump”. Thank you and get fucked.

Main course, or main course and dessert?

Agreed. In my Dad’s particular case, he was gone, as a cognitive , aware person, just his body was fighting like fuck to stay alive. At that stage, there should be the option to end it kindly and quickly. When you’re looking at degenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s or Lewy Bodies Disease, where the mental capacity of the declines over time, then I can see that a more stringent set of checks and guidelines would be needed to avoid cases of abuse- you’ve just got to look at the family of that Capt.Tom to see how venal people can be with dead and dying relative’s money. None of which should stop the option being there for people who’ve just had enough pain, loss of dignity etc.

Jill Scott reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite.

She could be reading out an omelette recipe in Serbo-Croat, I’d still “watch”.

Alex Scott ticks all my boxes.

This is how it begins. I will not stand by while sossige apartheid rears its ugly head. I’m Cumberland and proud.

Keep things even?

I nominate you. He who rhymed it, crimed it.

Actual, paper tickets only too- digital cards don’t work because THE BOGTROTTER PUT A VIRUS in the pcs.