Monkeys Fist

Great bacon kiosk though.

HRND VPR!

Monday night is Only Connect night chez Fist. Mrs. F. thinks I watch it because I’m an erudite, witty chap with a flair for lateral thinking. She’s right, but there’s two reasons I enjoy it. …

Spot The Conehead. If you win you get a 6 gallon voucher for the Lamb Bhuna kiosk in the Tony Blair stand.

It’s the one with all the seats… fockin noob! Get the metro to Saint Jamie’s, walk past the Raspberry pub, then listen for Adam P and The Spaniel , can’t go wrong.

Centurion walks in to a bar and says… “ Five beers please!”

If we’re going to have utter match thread confusion, we need to post a bit more in here, then alternate between here and Zathras’ reboot. Step up gents, step up. 5-0 Derek Wright.

Of course, it’s 5 minutes and 43 seconds until Judge Wapner … Wapner, five forty three.

Much like our erstwhile football team, we here at TT Towers are having a personnel crisis. Andrew is now essentially nocturnal, he only comes out with his fellow hobbits to talk about second-breakfast and potatoes. Tom has been churning out some very niche grumble movies in Holland, involving Grannies, Guinea Pigs, and Granola. He’s been pretending to be on tour with “his band”, but WE’VE ALL SEEN THE VIDEOS TOM! ( well… I have). Meenzer, as evidenced by his response above, has fully embraced nihilism, chaos, and curtain twitching since moving to the ‘burbs. If you can drag him away from the Residents Group on Facebook where he’s conducting a campaign against THAT BITCH from no. 42 and her incontinent Pomeranian, you’re doing well. Rayvin now lives in a cave in the Outer Hebrides, burning wicker figurines of Starmer and apologising to passing sheep. If it wasn’t for my technological genius and wizardry keeping this place in its feet, we’d be Parsnipping every other post. 5-0. Double hatrick from Cabaye and Tiote.

“ The Northern Research Group?” “ So, The North… anyone been?” ” No, too grim” ” Sherry?” ” Raaather!”

Shirley Anne Field. Not shy, in her day. Oh aye, RIP.

That assumes that this is the match thread, and not Ayatollah’s match thread. Should we deduct one?

Had a drop at Central Station in town today. Parked at the top end nearest the Life Centre, unloaded, rang the number to find out where they wanted it. Me-“ Hello, I’m at the staff car park with your pallet, where would you like it?” TAFMG* “ Errh, I’m near the Hotel…” Me “ Oh, OK, which hotel?” TAFMG “ The one next door” Me - “ Next door to the station, ok, are you at the hotel or at the station?” TAFMG -“ I’m on me own “ Me * muttering “ Jesus-titty-fucking-christ… Erm, Ok mate, if you tell me where you are I’ll come to you. “ TAFMG- “ I’m next to the Hotel” Me, now thinking I’m actually dealing with a special needs lad-“ Ok mate, can you see the buses where you are, or can you see the trains?” TAFMG - “ No, I’m near the hotel” Eventually found the fucker, at the other end of the station, in the goods yard next to the Long Stay car park. Not special needs, he was just, without a shadow of a doubt, the stupidest fucker on these fair isles. * Thick As Fucking Mince Gadgie

I guess not everyone has a Blue Badge Chaffeurs account, eh @thebrokendoll?

I got my sex sossidge done not long after I met Mrs. F. I showed her and she said “ Why does it say ‘Way’?” I said “ Give it a minute, it’s ‘ Welcome to Newcastle upon Tyne, have a nice day’ “

They’ve spelled Untied wrong mate.

I WILL NOT be accused of littering!!!

Who’s on first base?

How dare you!

Of course he will have- he’s this place’s Rainman.

Fat lasses love it… so I’m told.