Monkeys Fist

She asked expectantly, whilst simultaneously reaching for her coat. I'm not a cider fan. Infact I drink very little. Just the odd glass of Rose or Red wine. Used to like a Baileys but that gives me indigestion now Oh or a WKD Blue if I'm feeling thirsty. You should try water. I'm reminded of The Broon Bottle vs Cider Woman

TBH Fuller will be a good signing if we are going for the big man little man combo that Quinn talked about. Also I'd take Owen till the end of the season. Those two will certainly keep the club doctors in work.

It was dole day on Thursday, he'll be sleeping off the remnants of the White Lightning bench party

Worst NUFC rumour "we never booed Sir Bobby out of our ground" SAFC is a family club, unless you're Darren Bent's mam, the leathery monkey.

Greyhounds. And why do we have to do it in secret?

Ithangew (Toughguymick, watch and learn son, watch and learn )

Eskimo wife " Irish Stew for tea tonight Nanook" Nanook. " O'Ceallagain?" Coat is on…

Wahey!!

Is that according to the story book that says the earth was built in seven days?

Tenuous is my middle name. (Spelt Taihneamus in Oirland)

Mhince Bhaughan thanks the lord he's not Irish.

I thought Judaism was a religion, not a race? Oy vey, you live, you learn.

Did you shave your arse as well?

Battleship Potemkin inspired?

So it's Kebhin/Kemhin?

You're right to be embarrassed. That haircut is pure 70s man

Thought that was your wallet?

I'd go for your nose first. Pwopa

Not guilty M'Lud

A teacher did that at registration once on the first day in a new class. Well "sigh-oh-ban" to be exact. lol i had that a fair few times when i worked in accounts, English companies ringing up about invoices asking for people in the office the other one was may-buh for Maebh and various ones for Ruairí (rory) How the hell do you pronounce it? As in Niamh? Aoife is another I used to struggle with

In 1993 I had a swedge with a French bloke who'd stolen my tent and belongings the previous evening. Chased him for a few hundred yards then collared him. I grabbed his bag which had all my stuff in except my camera and Walkman. I repeatedly asked him where they were, and his pleas of innocence were starting to get the red mist creeping in on me. After giving him several more chances to tell me where my missing stuff was, I thought "fuck it" and went to rifle his coat pockets. He batted my hand away and that was that. Fucking Silverback time! Next thing I remember he's lying on the deck bubbling, and I think " Get up man, I've only slapped you". So I bend down to pick him up , realise he's got a shaved head , and so pick him up by his ears. Oops, nasty ripping sound and a squeal and see I've separated his lobe by an inch. About a 2 hours later I'm back at work, Gendarmes turn up and take me into custody. Clouseau explains he was picked up by a tourist who brought him in, where he pressed charges. After telling him what happened the cop explained that he'd been examined by a doctor and given a six day sick note, as a means of measuring the severity of his injuries. The cop asks me if I'm hurt at all, and I say no. He looks at my knuckles and says "they look broken", makes a phone call and the next thing I'm sent up the street to the doctors. One brief examination and I'm sent back to the station with a 2 week sick note ! The copper winked, said "we don't like thiefs here, bad for business" and released me. Vive La Justice.

I have a message for,Howie? Howard?