Monkeys Fist

We'd have to have a paedoesque statue of him first.

Just weighed myself today. 14st 1lb. Skinny for me.

Some aussie sent it to me on youtube. And you claim to be a comedy writer?

hes scouse man, the social would spot him straight away in a KFC

How the fuck do you blow £5.5 million on Fosters and Greggs steak bakes?

Did you get this from a staff memo - "How to deal with non-standard menu requests"?

The voice of Truth has spoken. As it goes, I agree with Alex. Keep Forster and Krul. Let them scrap over No.1.

Is that a winky wank? Left handed is known as a "stranger" n'est pas?

That's a far more useful thing than being a 'hardman'. I can usually spot bother a mile off, and avoid getting caught up in it. Also has a lot to do with where you go out. I go down the Ouseburn and places with a similar vibe. Very few knobs there, so little if any trouble.

Never lost yet Oddly, my right arm is significantly bigger than my left. Hmmmm

Not from me mate. Nails me You look proper hard tbh, I reckon you'd be in the top 5 contenders on Toontastic tbh, along with mancmag, Alex and Peasepud. I was taking the piss man. Big hippy at heart.

I have no current plans of an invasion.

Given your obvious Viking genes Gemmill, I'd recommend you wear this in daylight hours whilst downunder.

Vince McMahon meets Giant Haystacks eh? I fear for Vincent.

Trivia like this makes my day just that little bit brighter

I have tissues. Daft cunt.

But did you design it yourself?

50/1?

If that's for real I'm off to make a bet now.. Oh look, it's 12-1 http://www.paddypower.com/football/uk-foot...11-1858388.html More bollocks from CT The whispering truth drowns out the roar of ignorance.

" I speek Eenglish. I learn eet from a boook"

Not from me mate. Nails me

I'd have smashed her back door in just to be able to say it.

All he had to do was not stop. The pace of the ball, it would've gone in off his man eggs if that's where it hit him.

The two words next to Lovenkrands are what cost us a vital goal here. if he'd continued, he was onside, tap in. Oh yeah totally. Missed the one on one as well. Just really angry can't take it two weeks running. It wouldn't be so bad if we had been gash, but in both games we were on top for the large part of the game. ( 2nd half more so today). It's a piss boiler