Monkeys Fist

Cats=Devil's Spawn. Every single one of the wee bastards.

Along these lines? The Lazbus

More likely his arrival would mean bye bye Forrest Gump.

Quality. Don't you vant me liebling?

When typing , keep your finger on the letter / symbol. It will bring up alternatives. ie. I gives the following ï į í £ gives ₩ ¥ $ €

Think I'll get some of that, would make a nice bed for grilled spicy lamb kebabs. Aye, will go with anything cous cous will. Add some of the juice from the lamb when cooking the wheat, as it takes on flavours, but does need something added. as Gemmill said, cook it in stock. Enjoy.

See above. Rollies or Regal?

I've used this in place of cous cous. Ebly website can be tricky to find, but larger Tesco's normally have it.

"Only when rubbed" is the standard answer to that one. So, do you smoke Parky?

Hitler had a bit of a charver cut tbh.( if you take the tache away)

Always thought it was a Romany word for a young lad. Btw, the word was in common use when me dad was a lad. In Walker it was, anyway. Wiki says it's Romani for child. Wiki Charver It also says it's a prostitute http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/charva Which must mean Gypsies use child prostitutes! Kill them all

do they kill em wearing clown shoes and falling over?

It makes me laugh that these shows are so popular whilst home-cooking is on the decline! Maybe if people spent less time watching this tripe, they'd have more time to cook meals. Anyway, here's a nice pic of Ms. Lawson's decolletage

That's an utter bushpig sitting on the right though

Always thought it was a Romany word for a young lad. Btw, the word was in common use when me dad was a lad. In Walker it was, anyway. Wiki says it's Romani for child. Wiki Charver

I went up to a young lady in the park yesterday evening and said: "Excuse me, I'm very sorry to trouble you but you don't happen to have seen a policeman anywhere near here have you?" "No" she replied with a friendly smile, "I'm afraid I haven't" That was when I got my knife out...

Thats older than Shinton man! Old ones are the best.

In the Torygraph clicky

Tampax have just announced that they are taking the strings off their tampons and replacing them with tinsel. This will be for the Christmas period only. ..Coat on etc

Apologies for being a mong, but what does CLS stand for? Chester le Street

You really are a fucking idiot . I have to admit though, you do have a talent- taking a perfectly normal phrase like this and somehow managing to imbue it with an overwhelming sense of out & out cuntishness is a real skill. Give yourself a pat on the back.... with a hammer preferably.

Aye prob, its been lke this since I started You need some time off Wyki, why not throw a sicky?

Or..... you're common? Witty Thanks. Now fuck off

Did the Gadgie look like this?

So long as you have a Stormtrooper falling from the roof as you get lit, otherwise it would be just weird