Monkeys Fist

Wonder if Nick has seen this? Estimate of the Typical appearance of Gallilean males @ 30A.D.

The Geordie Temperature Scale (Celsius): 10 degrees - Southerners turn on the heating - Geordies plant gardens. 4 degrees - Southerners shiver uncontrollably - Geordies sunbathe. 1 degrees - Southern cars will not start - Geordies drive with the windows down. -6 degrees - Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats - Geordies throw on a T-shirt (girls start wearing mini-skirts instead of bikinis). -10 degrees - Southern landlords turn up the heating - Geordies have the last BBQ before it gets cold. -17 degrees - Southerners begin to evacuate - Geordies go swimming in the North Sea. -25 - Southerners cease to exist - Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket. -60 degrees - Polar bears wonder if it's worth it - Geordie boy scouts start wearing long trousers. -75 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - Geordies put on their long johns. -113 degrees - alcohol freezes - Geordies get frustrated because the pubs are shut. -182 degrees - Microbial life starts to disappear - The cows on Newcastle Town Moor complain of farmers with cold hands -273 degrees - All atomic motion stops - Geordies start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands. -295 degrees - Hell freezes over - Sunderland qualify for Europe

a foul curse on you and your progeny, blasted heathen!!

This is an extremely topical thread, given the time of year. After all , Jeesus was hammered with tacks. Ok , sorry, I'll fuck off.

Jumps in car , races to Morrisons , frantically buys a bootfull of draught cans. Is there going to be a day of mourning in Ireland?

Stevie's new career? "Merry Christmas Foriegn Cunts". On Bulldog Records.

Cheers Tom. Good innings. Sad day for his family.

" Hello Jawdys, Derek here, we did have 2 bids, but they didn't have any money. See, I'm not a lying puppet. Honest. Love me pleeease. " save you the bother of a click HF.

RIP. How old was he?

The only pro footballer who can claim immobilty allowance.

Seriously? who the fuck authorised sending out that kind of shit to everyone? luckily I didnt get it like. I got one of these too. straight in the trash bin I'm afraid.

Was going to be graftingnon Liverpool Sunday. Just heard it's cancelled due to weather. Means I won't miss this- 4-1 to us... .. I've had a shandy Bass.

My 2 yr old has just looked out the window and started squeaking with excitement. Nice way to start the Christmas break. We shall be attempting to make a snow- midget in the garden.

Happy Birthday Toonraider!

Mary's looking fiiiine!

First article from 1905. Johnny Come Latelys ! Guess that's the telegram generation for you.

Winner gets soup ?

"Pamela f****** Anderson? I wouldn't touch her with yours." Legend

In keeping with their bid website, sunderland have revealed their local venue for the World Cup matches

Blizzard in the South; Blizzard in the North;

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.

They are tho

pretty much, he's resigned and asked for a £5m loan back by the end of today from what I understand A cold chill has just run down my spine Don't worry bud, it'd never happen to us because our owner's too much of a tight arse to do that. hope so