Monkeys Fist

If he did sign, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about playing in a derby.

Haven’t clicked- is it written in shorthand?

And, for large portions of our time in the league, we’ve been fucking amazing to watch. I can’t think of a single Everton game that sticks out as entertaining for a neutral.

They might have massive pricks, but we’ve got Eddie Howe’s beef wand

That’s as fucking boring as I expected it to be

I’ve got no real animosity towards Burnley tbh, good mate of mine is born and bred and he’s gutted at their current plight. Fuck the scouse mackems though.

Fucking hell

Used to be a piece of piss til the Tories fucked everything, and everyone. Reap what you sow. ( how’s it difficult? Just tick “poverty line” on every box and you’re done )

Scheckshy!

It’s been two hours- is the laddie still not back from school yet?

No expense was spent on the trophy

This is the kind of pedantry I live for

1 man 2 cups. CT-

Come on CT- I see you lurking. What combo of results would get us 40 points after 14 games. You have 1 minute.

14 wins , aye? That’d put us on 42 points though. At which point in our 14th game could we say we’ve earned 1 point, to hit the 40 point mark, so that Bunter can put his magic hat on and have a raging boner?

It’s not your actions. It’s you.

Vorsprung durchfall Technik

Did you see Sam West’s response to Dowden’s St.George Day flag wanking? They really are thicker than castle walls.

Pluck? Thrum?

My Mrs. was watching Nora from Queens yesterday and it had the “I see dead people” kid on, who’s now a fat adult. Aaaanyway, he says a line “ My middle name is Bukkake!” just as our 11yr old son walked in. “Why you laughing Mam, what’s Bukkake mean ?” After I’d stopped choking with laughter I told him it’s Japanese for “ a bit of a mouthful” which he seemed happy enough with. Beat that @Christmas Tree

Friendship Trophy. Because of ships, that used to be built on a river… marras

I hope, for the sake of the poor Wembley cleaning staff, that it’s a warm day and they all have a shit in the fountains at Trafalgar Square again, rather than keeping it for the seats* * this is academic really, as we all know they’ll bottle it well before then.

A bit like she thrashed that recorder solo () at the end. It’s been a while since music has moved me to tears.

It’ll be interesting to see if they come straight back up as record-breaking champions, though, as you’d expect of a mighty club …

Personal experience leaves me unsurprised - a lot of French folk are right-wing, racist cunts.